All
emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up; that emotion is impure
which seizes only one side of your being and so distorts you.
Know your emotions.
There
are a million different ways you can feel, but scientists have classified human
emotions into a few basics that everyone can recognize: joy, acceptance, fear,
surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation
Jealousy,
for example, is a manifestation of fear - fear that you're not "as
good" as something else, fear of being abandoned because you're not
"perfect" or "the best."
Know
what kinds of situations cause which emotions, and be able to tell the
difference between anger and fear; sometimes multiple emotions can bubble up at
the same time, and the person going through the emotions might not be able to
distinguish the two.
And
some different ways to control unfavorable emotions as below:
1.
Recognize the Power of Emotions
We
like to think of ourselves as highly rational beings, but we’re usually not. We
make impulsive decisions every day based on how we feel. We’ve all said and
done things in the heat of the moment that we later regretted.
Being
aware of how much influence our emotions have over our lives is the first step
to taking charge of them.
2. Emotions Doesn’t
Always Represent the Truth
Just
because we feel a certain way doesn’t make it a reality. For example, we might
feel that we’re a failure or that we’re unloved or that we’re stupid, but that
doesn’t mean it’s true.
Our
feelings color our perception of reality. We need to understand, however, that
these feelings can misrepresent the actual—and often less gloomy—state of
affairs.
3. Avoid Toxic People
I’ve
heard it said that we’re the average of the five people we spend most of our
time with. This isn’t a scientific fact, but it’s a principle that holds true
in general.
If
we’re constantly hanging out with people who are angry, grumpy and
discouraging, we’ll eventually become like them. It’s difficult to be in
control of our emotions when we spend a lot of time with people who push our
buttons in the wrong way.
4. Ask for Support
If
we want to make any significant change in our lives, we’ll need the support of
the people closest to us. Taking charge of our emotions definitely falls in
that category.
This
might seem a little harsh, but it’s necessary for your growth and development.
5. Use Words as a Tool
to Feel Better
Words
are powerful, and we can harness that power to change our emotional state. When
we’re feeling down, we need to train ourselves to use our words to improve—and
even transform—our situation, rather than merely describe it.
For
instance, even if you’re feeling disappointed, you could choose to say, “I’m
going to try again and I’m going to be successful this time around.” This will
make you feel much more empowered than if you used words as a tool to describe
your situation: “I’ve failed. I’m just not cut out for this.”
It
takes discipline and practice in order for us to cultivate this habit, but it’s
vital if we want to exert our will over our emotions.
6. The Underlying
Message
In
communication, it’s not what we say that matters; it’s what people hear. When
we’re constantly frustrated and angry at work, our co-workers hear us saying,
“I don’t like my job and I don’t like being around people like you.”
When
we’re frequently impatient with our family members, they hear us saying, “I
refuse to be nice to you because you’re not important to me.”
Once
we become conscious of the indirect and unintended messages we communicate
every time we fail to control our negative emotions, we’ll realize the
importance of exercising self-control in this area.
7. Wait Two Seconds
Before Responding
It’s
amazing how big of a difference two seconds makes when we’re upset. Every time
we respond immediately—and instinctively—to an unkind remark, our words reek of
spite and malice.
If,
on the other hand, we intentionally wait for at least two seconds before
replying, it’s far more likely that we’ll respond in a measured way that will
help the situation.
8. Take Care of Your
Physical Needs.
In
The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz describe the four key
areas of our life: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Loehr and
Schwartz assert that we should strive to achieve optimality in each of those
areas, and in the order listed.
This
means that if we don’t attain physical optimality, it will be difficult to
attain emotional optimality. If, for example, we’re sleep-deprived, it’s almost
impossible not to be moody and irritable.
Thus,
it’s essential that we take care of our physical needs—sleep, exercise,
nutrition—if we want to be emotionally stable.
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