Controlling Unfavourable Emotions

Tuesday 27 May 2014 0 comments

All emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up; that emotion is impure which seizes only one side of your being and so distorts you.

Know your emotions.

There are a million different ways you can feel, but scientists have classified human emotions into a few basics that everyone can recognize: joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation

Jealousy, for example, is a manifestation of fear - fear that you're not "as good" as something else, fear of being abandoned because you're not "perfect" or "the best."

Know what kinds of situations cause which emotions, and be able to tell the difference between anger and fear; sometimes multiple emotions can bubble up at the same time, and the person going through the emotions might not be able to distinguish the two.

And some different ways to control unfavorable emotions as below:

1. Recognize the Power of Emotions

We like to think of ourselves as highly rational beings, but we’re usually not. We make impulsive decisions every day based on how we feel. We’ve all said and done things in the heat of the moment that we later regretted.

Being aware of how much influence our emotions have over our lives is the first step to taking charge of them.

2. Emotions Doesn’t Always Represent the Truth

Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t make it a reality. For example, we might feel that we’re a failure or that we’re unloved or that we’re stupid, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.

Our feelings color our perception of reality. We need to understand, however, that these feelings can misrepresent the actual—and often less gloomy—state of affairs.

3. Avoid Toxic People

I’ve heard it said that we’re the average of the five people we spend most of our time with. This isn’t a scientific fact, but it’s a principle that holds true in general.

If we’re constantly hanging out with people who are angry, grumpy and discouraging, we’ll eventually become like them. It’s difficult to be in control of our emotions when we spend a lot of time with people who push our buttons in the wrong way.

4. Ask for Support

If we want to make any significant change in our lives, we’ll need the support of the people closest to us. Taking charge of our emotions definitely falls in that category.

This might seem a little harsh, but it’s necessary for your growth and development.

5. Use Words as a Tool to Feel Better

Words are powerful, and we can harness that power to change our emotional state. When we’re feeling down, we need to train ourselves to use our words to improve—and even transform—our situation, rather than merely describe it.

For instance, even if you’re feeling disappointed, you could choose to say, “I’m going to try again and I’m going to be successful this time around.” This will make you feel much more empowered than if you used words as a tool to describe your situation: “I’ve failed. I’m just not cut out for this.”

It takes discipline and practice in order for us to cultivate this habit, but it’s vital if we want to exert our will over our emotions.

6. The Underlying Message

In communication, it’s not what we say that matters; it’s what people hear. When we’re constantly frustrated and angry at work, our co-workers hear us saying, “I don’t like my job and I don’t like being around people like you.”

When we’re frequently impatient with our family members, they hear us saying, “I refuse to be nice to you because you’re not important to me.”

Once we become conscious of the indirect and unintended messages we communicate every time we fail to control our negative emotions, we’ll realize the importance of exercising self-control in this area.

7. Wait Two Seconds Before Responding

It’s amazing how big of a difference two seconds makes when we’re upset. Every time we respond immediately—and instinctively—to an unkind remark, our words reek of spite and malice.

If, on the other hand, we intentionally wait for at least two seconds before replying, it’s far more likely that we’ll respond in a measured way that will help the situation.

8. Take Care of Your Physical Needs.

In The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz describe the four key areas of our life: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Loehr and Schwartz assert that we should strive to achieve optimality in each of those areas, and in the order listed.
This means that if we don’t attain physical optimality, it will be difficult to attain emotional optimality. If, for example, we’re sleep-deprived, it’s almost impossible not to be moody and irritable.

Thus, it’s essential that we take care of our physical needs—sleep, exercise, nutrition—if we want to be emotionally stable. 
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