Interesting Facts on Opposite Sex Friendships
Opposite Sex Friendships
In some ways, men and women perceive opposite-sex
friendships much like same-sex friendships. As with same-sex friendships, both
men and women initiate opposite-sex friendships because they offer
companionship, good times, conversation, and laughter. As with same-sex
friends, both men and women prefer opposite sex friends who are honest,
intelligent, sensitive, funny, and dependable. And as with same-sex
friendships, men and women dissolve opposite-sex friendships with those who
abuse, betray, annoy, and lie to them.
However, several unique qualities of opposite-sex friendship
stand out. First, men more than women appear to be motivated by the potential
for sex with their opposite-sex friends. (Heterosexual) Men are more sexually
attracted to their friends than are women and more often desired to have sex
with their opposite-sex friends. Men preferred sexual attractiveness in their
friends and perceived sexual attraction to someone and a desire to have sex
with someone as important reasons for initiating an opposite-sex friendship.
Moreover, men judge the reason “There wasn’t enough sex in our relationship” as
an important reason for dissolving their opposite sex friendships. Although men
more than women may form friendships to gain sex, sex is not the only motivator
for men. Other benefits, such as companionship and emotional support, are
clearly important. Men do not rate a desire for sex as one of the most
important reasons for initiating an opposite-sex friendship, nor do they rate a
lack of sex as one of the most important reasons for ending an opposite-sex
friendship.
Secondly, women more than men appear to value physical
protection from their opposite sex friends. Women judge physical strength as
desirable in an opposite-sex friend. Women judge the failure to receive
physical protection from a friend as an important reason for dissolving an
opposite-sex friendship. However, rather than select friends partially on the
basis of ability to provide protection, women may merely benefit from protection
after becoming involved in opposite-sex friendships.
Finally, individual differences in sociosexuality correlate
with people’s judgments of sex in their
opposite-sex friendships. Men and women who are relatively willing to engage in
casual sex report higher levels of sexual attraction to their friends, judge
sexual attraction and a desire for sex as more important reasons for initiating
an opposite sex friendship, and judge a loss of sexual attraction and a lack of
sexual access as more important reasons for ending an opposite-sex friendship.
Sex differences in desire for sex with opposite-sex friends
may create conflict in opposite-sex friendships. Both men and women may feel
betrayed by an opposite-sex friend—women because a trusted friend suddenly rejects
them because there is no potential for romance and men because they feel they
have been led on sexually.
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