What is the perfect age to get
married if you don't want to get divorced
Here is the Ideal age to get
married.
Optimal age for long lasting
marriage
University of Utah researcher
Nicholas Wolfinger says he has found the optimal age range for a lasting
marriage.
In July 2015, University of Utah
researcher Nicholas Wolfinger announced that he had found the optimal age range
for a lasting marriage, after looking at data published by the National Survey
of Family Growth (NSFG) from 2006-2010.
Wolfinger, an adjunct professor
of sociology at the university, claimed that the likelihood of divorce was
lowest when a couple married between the ages of 28 and 32. "The odds of
divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties
and early thirties," Wolfinger wrote.
"Thereafter, the chances of
divorce go up again as you move into your late thirties and early
forties." While Wolfinger's research generated considerable interest in
the media, it was also met with a healthy dose of scepticism.
So is there really such a thing
as the "best" age to get married? One of the UK's best-known marital
therapists, Andrew G Marshall, feels that we may be trying too hard to show
we're in the "perfect relationship".
"It fits in with our idea
that there's such a thing as a full partner, who understands us 100 per cent,
and because we're on exactly the same wavelength all our problems are going to
fall away and we're going to have a perfect relationship," he tells The
Independent.
"I think it's wishful
thinking, that if we do it on the right day, in exactly the right way, we will
set off in the right way and have the right marriage. And we're terrified of
making mistakes, so we guard against that by these sort of superstitions."
He suggests that these
superstitions take place, in part, in the wedding day, where some couples will
spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on everything from the
"perfect" dress to the "perfect" location.
"They think: 'if I've said
it in front of all my family and friends, and on Instagram, I've got to get the
marriage right,'" Marshall says.
How does he feel about this
notion of there being an ideal age to get married?
"I think the best age to get
married is when you're both ready and want to do it," he says.
"Marriage is a wonderful
institution. Because living together is a private arrangement, whereas getting
married is a public one: it brings your partner into your family, and provides
them with more loving support.
"It also makes you think
twice before you separate, and that's generally a good thing. We choose people
for a reason, and that reason is normally growth. And growth involves conflict,
which we're often terrified of, but actually it's really good for us."
He suggests that couples often
get caught up in the cliche of "I love you, but I'm not in love with
you", because they supress their differences.
"They think conflict is
terrible, so they undermine their relationship by tip- toeing around it."
Marshall also believes social
media is a "complete and utter disaster" for modern relationships.
10 years ago, he says, no one he
spoke with complained about how their partner was "always on their
phone" or "always on Facebook".
Now, he hears it all the time.
"It also makes infidelity
much easier," he says, "and when you're trying to get over them it's
much harder, because the other party can pop into your house with a
"bing" at any time of day or night."
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