7 Little Things to Develop a More Flexible Mind
7 Tips to Develop a More Flexible Mind
How to Develop a More Flexible Mind
A flexible mind leads to more peace. You’re not as stuck in
your ways, and can adapt to change. You don’t always think you’re right but are
curious about other people. You can take on new challenges with a smile.
When I’m not flexible, I can feel it: my mind starts to feel
rigid, I feel frustration, irritation, anger, disappointment. There’s a feeling
of not wanting things to be the way they are, feeling of being wronged,
attacked. It’s the result of being caught up in whatever story you’re telling
yourself.
So here’s what I’ve been working on, to develop a more
flexible mind:
1. See
the tightness: If I notice myself getting frustrated,
hardening up, feeling a tightness … this is the sign that I should practice.
And the good news is that practice helps me get better, so I should celebrate!
This is a lesson that life has gifted me, and I try to say thank you.
2. Don’t
act:
The most harm comes when I act out of my frustration, actions that might
include shutting down and not talking to someone. So when I notice the
tightness, I try not to take any harmful action. Instead, I try to turn inward
to face whatever is arising.
4. Stay
with the feeling: Turn towards the feeling, and just observe it.
See it as something that is arising, but isn’t necessarily me. It’s a feeling,
a cloud passing across the sky, not a big deal. What does it feel like,
physically in my body? Explore it with curiosity.
5. Give
it some space, and compassion: If the tight feeling that is
arising is a cloud, then I try to give it a big, expansive blue sky to float
across. Instead of being immersed in the cloud, I try to widen, open up an
expansiveness. And then I give the feeling some compassion. It’s OK to feel this!
And it’s good to give it some love.
6. Relax,
and loosen my grip: The tightness comes from wanting something or
someone to be a certain way. I’m holding on tightly, and I really want this.
Instead, I try to loosen my grip on whatever it is. It doesn’t really matter
that much, I can flow around this. Instead, I try to relax into the moment, and
be with whatever is going on. Notice the world around me, right now, instead of
being caught up in my story. Relax, and be grateful for what’s around me.
7. Saying
“I don’t know.”: Here’s the key to it all. Once I’ve relaxed a
bit, I can now tell myself, “I don’t know how things should be. I don’t even
know how they are now.” So this gives me space to not know, and to investigate.
What is the truth about this moment? What would it be like to allow the future
to unfold without knowing? What is it like to not know how other people should
act, but be curious about why they’re acting that way? And to give them some
compassion too?
Not knowing. A flexible mind is one that doesn’t really know
what should happen, and is not even sure what will unfold in this next moment.
It is curious, like a baby exploring the world afresh.
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