Here are the some ways to help yourself from emotional
manipulation
1.
There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator.
You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example:
I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response – “It makes me feel sad
that you would think I would forget your birthday, I should have told you of
the great personal stress I am facing at the moment – but you see I didn’t want
to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain aside and focused
on your birthday.
2. An
emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper.
If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree
– that is IF they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, “ok
thanks” – they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to be. When
you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever – they will turn it
around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted to and how
unreasonable you are.
3.
Crazy making – saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are beginning to
question your own sanity –You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An
emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing,
justifying and explaining things away.
4.
Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers.
They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not
speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and
caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to
guilt with an emotional manipulator.
5.
Emotional manipulators fight dirty.
They don’t deal with things directly. They will talk around
behind your back and eventually put others in the position of telling you what
they would not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find
subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers.
6.
Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability.
They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior
– it is always about what everyone else has “done to them”. One of the easiest
ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is
generally of the “hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me” variety.
Post a Comment