My life changed when I took myself out of my head and into
my life. I’m the happiest, healthiest and most authentic I’ve ever been. Here’s
how I got there:
1.
Practice small actions, every day.
I was waiting for Oprah to gift me a trip to the Outback
before I felt worthy of adventuring, for Random House to call and give me a
book deal before I felt worthy of writing, for Sony to call and give me a
recording contract before I felt worthy (or capable) of sharing my music. We’re
all preprogrammed to see successful, happy people and what their result is; we
fail to understand that we haven't been privy to the steps that got them there.
Success and happiness are not a book deal. They aren't the dream
come true. Success is the late night worrying how you’ll pay your bills when
you’ve started your own business. Learning how to communicate with a new
partner you’re in love with. Running for one minute more than you could the
week before at the gym. If you want big results, you need to stop discounting
small action. Small action triggers big change.
2. Tell
the truth.
My life drastically changed when I made it my responsibility
to tell the truth to myself and the people around me. I told the truth about
what I wanted to change about my body. I said out loud, for the first time,
that I was unfulfilled in my relationship. I told the truth about being stuck
and fearful in my dead-end corporate job, that my heart was aching to work with
people, and make music and write.
Nothing magically happened — at first. But once my “truth”
was out there, it was as if me, my family and friends, and the universe were
all working together to get me what I needed, because I was clear about where I
stood. Beyond that, issues that had become too heavy for me to hold were
released.
The idea of telling the truth is terrifying. But doing it is
freeing and absolutely necessary to get to whatever your next step is.
3. Show
up.
Show up when you don’t want to, when you’re tired, when
you’re not sure if you’ll be able to, when you’re burned out, when you’re
uninspired, when you’re busy. Show up all the time. I made a promise to myself
when I started making decisive changes in my life that I would take every
opportunity that was presented to me; that if something found me it was meant
for me, and if I didn’t say “yes,” and didn’t make progress, or get what I
wanted, it was my fault for not answering when opportunity knocked.
Sometimes I’d “show up” and something profound would happen.
Other times, seemingly nothing came of me being there. But almost always,
whether it’s been in the moment or after the fact, the times I’ve said “yes”
have led to an opportunity, a new friend, a new idea. Show up for your life,
relentlessly, and life will show up for you.
4. Get
to know (and love) your body.
I kept my body at arm’s length for most of my life. I was
either feeding it recklessly, or beating it into the ground through
treacherous, hate-filled workouts. When I started making big changes, I talked
to my body like it was my life boat: the thing that would pull me through the
storms. I fed it the right way. I strengthened it in my workouts, and rested it
when it felt exhausted. I slept. I got to know my curves and lines, embracing
and relishing in my sexuality.
My body, ultimately, became my center, and I found that
because I had poured so much trust and confidence into what I was physically,
my energy was no longer consumed by fitting into a pair of jeans, but rather
free to focus on bigger, more important life decisions.
5. Be
scared EVERY day.
What if all your dreams suddenly came true for you? How
would you feel? Excited, absolutely. But you’d be scared. Scared to fail, to
succeed, to try something new, to lose it all. “Conquer your fears” is my least
favorite phrase. Because it’s not about “conquering” them. It’s about living
with them. If you aren’t fearful, you’re staying still. If you’re ready to
really grow and change something big in your life, fear is a requirement.
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