It takes great effort to let go of failed relationships and
learn to heal yourself instead of letting those complicated feelings linger.
Give
yourself time.
It's okay to mourn the end of the relationship. Whether you
were together for a few months or you lived together for years and shared pets,
you have the right to your complicated emotions. Allow yourself to cry, reflect
on the experience, and accept that it's really over.
Use this time to reflect. Write down your feelings in a
journal and really get in touch with why you're feeling that way.
Giving yourself time
may help you get over the relationship faster. Some people like to set an
"end mourning date." Of course, this doesn't mean that you'll be over
the relationship at that point--but it does mean that you'll start making a conscious
effort to move on.
Let
your emotions loose.
If you feel like crying in bed all day, go for it. If you
want to cry or vent to a friend about all of your frustrations, do that too.
Just remember to only do this for as long as you need to, don't rush out into a
new relationship in a week just because your ex is or to make them jealous.
Remind
yourself why the relationship is over.
It's natural for you to long for your ex and to wish he/she
was still by your side--after all, you're used to having them around, even if
it wasn't comforting all of the time. But you have to stay strong and remind
yourself why the relationship is over.
Though it may hurt, try thinking of a moment when you were
deeply unhappy in the relationship. Write it on an index card or save it on
your phone and and carry it around with you. Look at it whenever you're
regretting your decision or wondering why you and your ex aren't together
anymore.
Learn
to recognize negative thought patterns.
Bitterness, guilt and regret can make for a debilitating
emotional cocktail when you're trying to get over a relationship. You can teach
yourself to recognize bitter thought patterns, though, by writing them down and
then later examining them to find your emotional triggers.. Bitterness, guilt
and regret can make for a debilitating emotional cocktail when you're trying to
get over a relationship. You can teach yourself to recognize bitter thought
patterns, though, by writing them down and then later examining them to find
your emotional triggers.
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