When to Compromise & When to Stand your Ground

Thursday 11 April 2013 0 comments


Relationships are full of give and take situations, and being able to compromise is generally considered to be a good thing. But there are situations that arise where you need to stand your ground and not give in. Here’s when to compromise and when to stand firm:


Compromise

·  If you always get your way. If you’re the one always winning every debate and your partner is always giving in to what you want, it’s time for you to switch roles and start being the one to compromise. Your relationship won’t last much longer if you are never willing to give in.

·  If the issue is really important to them. If you’re dealing with something that you know is really important to your partner, it might be worthwhile to compromise and let them have their way.

·  If it’s not a big deal. If you’re not hung up either way on the outcome, then pick your battles and let them win. Compromising on little things that don’t really matter to you is easy to do and you can save getting your way for when it’s a bigger deal to you.

·  As a tradeoff. If you both want something you can give in on one issue as a tradeoff to getting what you want on another. Maybe you’ll go to their family reunion if they agree to give you more romantic time together, or whatever it is that you want. You’re compromising but you both end up winning.

Stand Firm

·  If it’s a major issue for you. Don’t compromise when you believe strongly in something and it’s really important to you. You can be flexible but still stand your ground and not compromise your integrity and values.

·  If they’re pressuring you. Stand firm and don’t allow yourself to be pressured into anything that you aren’t comfortable with. Don’t give in to something just because they’re really bugging you about it.

·  If you always let them win. If you’re always giving in and letting them get their way it’s important to stand firm once in a while so that they know that you aren’t a doormat. You should both get your way equally, rather than having one person dominate.

·  When they want something out of sync with your “big picture”. If they want something that isn’t in line with the direction you want the relationship to go in, then you need to stand your ground. Don’t compromise and allow them to steer the relationship in a different way than you want. If you have a committed, long term relationship in mind and they want to be able to date other people on the side, stand firm because if you give in, the relationship will be completely off-base from what you want.


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