7 Social Hacks For Manipulating People

Tuesday 23 April 2013 103 comments

1. Whenever someone is angry and confrontational, stand next to them instead of in front of them. You won’t appear as so much of a threat, and they eventually calm down.

2. Open with “I need your help.” People don’t like the guilt of not helping someone out. When asking for a favor from someone, begin your request by saying “I need your help.” It greatly increases your chances of getting that favor done. 

3. Rephrase what the other person says and repeat it back to them. This makes them think you’re listening and really interested in what they’re saying. It makes them feel validated. Obviously, you don’t want to overdo this.

4. If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk.This gets the other person to nod too, and they begin to subconsciously think they agree with you.

5. If someone doesn’t like you, ask to borrow a pencil. It is a small enough favor that they won’t say no, and it gets them to like you more.

6. Fold your arms to determine interest. If someone is observing you, they will likely mimic you. Fold your arms, and see if they do it, too.

7. Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation. It helps you remember it, and makes them like you more.

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19 October 2013 at 14:28

This is nice first time for me to see a blog like this will follow you

28 October 2013 at 13:55

Great share and tips. These do work, as many of us have tried a few of them without realizing it.

29 October 2013 at 04:04

Good tips, but can I suggest that folding your arms isn't the best gesture to use? It suggests that you're on the defensive. As stated above, the nodding head mannerism probably is a better bet.

29 October 2013 at 13:28

You don't want to overuse a person's name. It works best once at the beginning of an interaction and once at the end.

29 October 2013 at 14:58

GOod stuff

31 October 2013 at 21:23

@Joshua SaylerAgreed, overusing it sounds creepy and brown nosing.

1 November 2013 at 06:03

Amen, Joshua. I hate it when people use my name in conversation.....makes them sound like a salesperson.....ugh...

3 November 2013 at 20:01

Good tips, but as has been suggested above, folding one's arms can be read as being on the defensive. Use that tip only after you're certain there is no perceived adversarial relationship. Also, I'm going to have to check out that pencil trick - never seen that one before.

6 November 2013 at 03:12

Love it!

8 November 2013 at 11:43

Awesome blog and great info you shared here...
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8 November 2013 at 20:46

There is no such thing as 'subconscious thinking'.

9 November 2013 at 02:31

You need to pay attention to how the person reacts to your repeated use of their name. Some of us find this annoying.

9 November 2013 at 17:56

Thinking about doing these things fill me with anxiety for some reason. Just do what you do.

9 November 2013 at 21:23

its actually a good stuff...it wil help us to understand other peoples around us.

14 November 2013 at 00:07

This are some good ideas and they can work better if you don't overthink them and just let them happen naturally.

15 November 2013 at 13:24

Touching your face or hair works just as well but in some cultures is considered the height of rudeness. It doesn't really matter what the gesture is as a listener will move in concert with any gesture.

16 November 2013 at 01:39

if somebody i didn't like asked me for a pencil, i'd either lie and say i don't have any pencils or just blatantly tell them to FO, depending on the intensity of the dislike i feel for that person.

16 November 2013 at 01:44

7- repeating somebody's name during a conversation can be infuriating. now i know why people do it. it's because they're idiots with short memories. try that crap on me and your memory will be imprinted with my name and my angry face.

16 November 2013 at 01:46

2- i might actually use this one. it will make a change from "help me obi-wan *inserts person's name here*, you're my only hope.

21 November 2013 at 22:48

At least the author was up front about using these tricks to “manipulate people.” But the assumed motivation of readers seems to be simply to forward one’s own self-interest and agenda. The M-W Dictionary definition of manipulate is “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage; to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose.” Of course, one’s purpose could be unselfishly motivated and for the common good. But generally, that does not seem to be the case. Sad, because these techniques (adjusted per suggestions in Comments) can be (and in my opinion ‘should’ be) used to defuse conflict and to build rapport and mutual understanding rather than simply to win by any means. –Dr. J, experimental psychologist and host of The Social Network Show

22 November 2013 at 00:06

Well, I can confirm all of these work because I unintentionally use them all the time! And they work most of the time :P

24 November 2013 at 17:04

Very good tips, in most of cases if two people confronts and you go to stop them only you become the victim. :)

27 November 2013 at 00:28

I am trying #4 asap!

4 December 2013 at 09:50

NNIce article , 'Art of living'

8 December 2013 at 21:41

the last one don't work for me

10 December 2013 at 18:21

number 5 is amazing..
what is relation between borrow a pencil with someone doesn't like another?

12 December 2013 at 05:23

Cool Semi Fantastical Write. Smoothly Done and Done well. I will follow your writings...
Thank you.
The Warrior Poet.
Mr E. J. a. Healy.

14 December 2013 at 03:59

very interesting! thank you for the information !!

23 December 2013 at 04:31


26 December 2013 at 00:27

By these posts I can tell who likely needs these tips the most. I think this is a wonderful share! I must say though, that I always thought that the arm crossing meant that one was closed off. I have since tried to stop myself from doing it. I love it!

2 January 2014 at 06:40

@UnknownIf the persons facial expression is not hostile then folding ones arms comes across as patiently listening to the person and is appreciated.

3 January 2014 at 05:25

good ,

5 January 2014 at 11:00

Don't completely agree with number 7, as repeating a persons name too many times has the opposite effect. Basically repeating a persons name, can come across being intimidating and most likely cause the person to shut you out or can lead to an argument.

Next time you get a Telemarketer phoning you, selling you something you don't need or want... listen and note how many times they repeat your name and keep in mind how you feel.

7 January 2014 at 15:39

Nice :) just one question, doesn't folding arms mean you don't care and it also looks defensive...

12 January 2014 at 19:31

I have always noticed when people use these techniques. I find it somewhat insincere when I can tell it's being being done intentionally and consciously. Maybe I'm the exception.

13 January 2014 at 02:06

I have heard of all of these and have tried some. They do work but less so now in a more hostile world. Many people are so uptight these days!

13 January 2014 at 02:09

Nice in theory. These strategies work often but not so much now that we live in a more hostile world than ever. The important thing for me to keep in mind is to keep trying in hopes that the world will become a better place.

14 January 2014 at 00:59

I like the post, these are practical tips that can be readily applied. However, the title does the content little justice.

18 January 2014 at 03:28

good info for me..

21 January 2014 at 20:51

good info..

26 January 2014 at 22:47

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27 January 2014 at 13:07

No.7 " Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation " is just about the most annoying thing I have ever experienced .. grrrrrr

28 January 2014 at 01:17

great luv it

29 January 2014 at 13:52

@Bothayna Sherif

4 February 2014 at 16:42

I really like the provided Psychology stuff..... But the 6th and 7th point are useless and doesn't work out...
No 6 makes you look funny and No.7 can irritate anyone...

4 February 2014 at 21:08

All good EXCEPT for the one about repeating someone's name over & over during a conversation. This is a complete and immediate turn-off to most everyone. Unless you are a total dork, you instantly realize this for the ploy it is... "Hmmmm, this guy keeps saying my name over & over & over. Not only is it extremely ANNOYING, 'me thinks' this gallant knight is trying to pull a fast one..." And most of the time it's true - usually a high-pressure sales pitch. Which we ALL HATE.

6 February 2014 at 21:36

Thank you, Dr. J. While reading this article I kept thinking--due largely to the article's title--that either the blog author was being tongue-in-cheek, as if to suggest the list was designed for sociopaths, or s/he doesn't appreciate the loaded meaning of 'manipulation.' Regardless, I hope the author steps in to explain, "What's With the Title?".

8 February 2014 at 02:26

Very good tips

8 February 2014 at 09:15

I believe standing beside someone instead of in front of them is great for diffusing a conflicting situation. Great articles, and thanks for sharing. :)

9 February 2014 at 19:57

Interesting n useful! I ll certainly put these points to use !

15 February 2014 at 12:20

Niche :)

22 February 2014 at 00:14


24 February 2014 at 05:26

I just "stumbled" upon this. Awesome content! Have to admit, on some level I have been aware of each of these. Nice to put a reason to the rhyme.

25 February 2014 at 09:01

Love you all

1 March 2014 at 12:49

Hi Good

2 March 2014 at 20:18

Really fantastic.....Factzzz.....

3 March 2014 at 15:17

@Altaf Mir

3 March 2014 at 15:20


3 March 2014 at 15:20


6 March 2014 at 08:22

Great information explained with few words. Thank you

7 March 2014 at 13:19

lovely hert

9 March 2014 at 20:55

Brilliant, I am going to try them. Thanks a lot!!

10 March 2014 at 11:04

#7 is total BS! Repeating someone's name over and over will NOT make them like you. For many people, it will have the opposite effect. That technique was rampant int he 90's in used car lots. Kinda douchey now...

11 March 2014 at 13:07

good and easy to fallow thank u

12 March 2014 at 10:09

this is the best website i have found, thanks for create this awesome website :D

23 March 2014 at 07:25

@Olivia Kichop

23 March 2014 at 07:26

Nice Article

23 March 2014 at 07:28

Love the article.

23 March 2014 at 22:55

Thank you very much.

25 March 2014 at 23:59

Thank you moderator....excellent suggetions!

26 March 2014 at 07:39

Nice, Thanxxx

28 March 2014 at 20:29

Looking forward for more post, thanks for sharing.

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30 March 2014 at 22:30

@Paralyze The Fire

Speaking of anxiety, the next time you are engaged in a conversation with someone and you are standing, reduce anxiety and any sense of confrontation by motioning them to a seat, as you yourself sit while speaking. They will mirror your actions...Nodding your head affirmatively is a variation on the "Yes Yes" technique of gaining agreement- making two or three simple statements that ANYONE would agree with, like: It's a beautiful car, don't you think? Family is everything, isn't it? There's nothing like a puppy, is there?

31 March 2014 at 05:11

As a professional in a similar field, I can concur with the effectiveness of these methods and have used them countless times with similar positive results.

31 March 2014 at 05:12

These methods work well.

4 April 2014 at 13:51

Worth of trying :)

4 April 2014 at 13:59

cool,but sophisticated i think. Better explain it more elaborately, many things in here have consequences

6 April 2014 at 17:58

Thankyou for the information.

8 April 2014 at 02:11

interesting ready, good post

11 April 2014 at 18:35

this is actually really helpful (:

14 April 2014 at 20:01

Excellent ......

16 April 2014 at 11:40

@mike forman - Shutup, Mike. Don't act like such an internet tough-guy, Mike. Nobody's buying it, Mike.

30 April 2014 at 16:53

good ones, but what happens when we actually deal with people, we forget these things.

3 May 2014 at 01:05

This is fantastic - i will certainly try all the points

26 May 2014 at 21:02

great tips thank you

30 May 2014 at 04:27

Why on earth would you go to the trouble of doing all this to get someone to like you???? they either do or they don't. !!! You can't force someone into liking you, if someone done all that to me, I'd think they were a bigger ass than originally thought.

13 June 2014 at 17:16

#7 is false. It makes a person sound like a salesman and is confrontational/pushy.

14 June 2014 at 22:37

Better Communication vs Manipulation
Bottom line-The difference is your intent.

14 June 2014 at 22:38

Better Communication vs Manipulation:
Bottom Line-your intent!

24 June 2014 at 00:55

@No So I could not agree with this more. I have always felt ill at ease when this was applied to me, so much so, that it made me confrontational, and ittitated.

2 August 2014 at 21:33

Good points there :)

4 August 2014 at 03:50

Use this to boost your social intelligence. Don't manipulate, interact well with.

21 August 2014 at 07:55

I'm a sales man I can give you done better tips than this. main thing is keep calm and chive. nothing beats a good attitude. I naturally disarm people with positivity. if you want to just shoot me an email. I'll be glad to help.

24 September 2014 at 05:46

These are great recommendations. I would add that we can overdo the use of a person's name. If they become aware of it, they will be annoyed and feel manipulated. It has happened to me, with a colleague using my name every few words.

6 November 2014 at 01:12

very good comments..learned something just by viewing other people comments


26 February 2015 at 00:42

nice submission

22 February 2016 at 04:08

Hate it when people keep repeating my name in conversation. It's almost always a salesperson who does it and it always puts me off dealing with them.

23 February 2016 at 21:28

Yeah, when it's a salesperson excessive name repeating isn't amusing. However, repeating someone's name three times is a technique (of which I have heard but can't presently recall the source) for not forgetting a newly learned name. It doesn't necessarily always mean the person has an ulterior motive (other than the avoidance of a future, awkward loss for a name.)

8 May 2016 at 22:17

great article

13 July 2016 at 20:26

I don't think it'll work. If you will be constantly asking for help and borrowing everyone's pencils, the whole office will begin to hate you. Folded arms is a sign of protection not a good one. well, maybe some of that could be used to increase people liking you but I would really not give a credit to the whole combination.

25 July 2016 at 14:39

why is this a blogger post. I don't even know how to use blogger.

9 September 2016 at 09:31

This is very very interesting. Thanks for sharing!

14 October 2016 at 14:20

This is fantastic

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