1. Whenever someone is angry and confrontational, stand next to them
instead of in front of them. You won’t appear as so much of a
threat, and they eventually calm down.
2. Open with “I need your help.” People don’t like the guilt of not
helping someone out. When asking for a favor from someone, begin your
request by saying “I need your help.” It greatly increases your chances of
getting that favor done.
3. Rephrase what the other person says and repeat it back to them. This makes them
think you’re listening and really interested in what they’re saying. It makes
them feel validated. Obviously, you don’t want to overdo this.
4. If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk.This gets the other person
to nod too, and they begin to subconsciously think they agree with you.
5. If someone doesn’t like you, ask to borrow a pencil. It is a small
enough favor that they won’t say no, and it gets them to like you more.
6. Fold your arms to determine interest. If someone is
observing you, they will likely mimic you. Fold your arms, and see if they do
it, too.
7. Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation. It helps you
remember it, and makes them like you more.
http://www.psychtronics.com/2012/10/interesting-psychology-articles.html
also read this article Meaning Behind your doodles and also this Different types of Sadists
Hope its useful...
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+ comments + 104 comments
This is nice first time for me to see a blog like this will follow you
Great share and tips. These do work, as many of us have tried a few of them without realizing it.
Good tips, but can I suggest that folding your arms isn't the best gesture to use? It suggests that you're on the defensive. As stated above, the nodding head mannerism probably is a better bet.
You don't want to overuse a person's name. It works best once at the beginning of an interaction and once at the end.
GOod stuff
@Joshua SaylerAgreed, overusing it sounds creepy and brown nosing.
Amen, Joshua. I hate it when people use my name in conversation.....makes them sound like a salesperson.....ugh...
Good tips, but as has been suggested above, folding one's arms can be read as being on the defensive. Use that tip only after you're certain there is no perceived adversarial relationship. Also, I'm going to have to check out that pencil trick - never seen that one before.
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There is no such thing as 'subconscious thinking'.
You need to pay attention to how the person reacts to your repeated use of their name. Some of us find this annoying.
Thinking about doing these things fill me with anxiety for some reason. Just do what you do.
its actually a good stuff...it wil help us to understand other peoples around us.
This are some good ideas and they can work better if you don't overthink them and just let them happen naturally.
Touching your face or hair works just as well but in some cultures is considered the height of rudeness. It doesn't really matter what the gesture is as a listener will move in concert with any gesture.
if somebody i didn't like asked me for a pencil, i'd either lie and say i don't have any pencils or just blatantly tell them to FO, depending on the intensity of the dislike i feel for that person.
7- repeating somebody's name during a conversation can be infuriating. now i know why people do it. it's because they're idiots with short memories. try that crap on me and your memory will be imprinted with my name and my angry face.
2- i might actually use this one. it will make a change from "help me obi-wan *inserts person's name here*, you're my only hope.
At least the author was up front about using these tricks to “manipulate people.” But the assumed motivation of readers seems to be simply to forward one’s own self-interest and agenda. The M-W Dictionary definition of manipulate is “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage; to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose.” Of course, one’s purpose could be unselfishly motivated and for the common good. But generally, that does not seem to be the case. Sad, because these techniques (adjusted per suggestions in Comments) can be (and in my opinion ‘should’ be) used to defuse conflict and to build rapport and mutual understanding rather than simply to win by any means. –Dr. J, experimental psychologist and host of The Social Network Show
Well, I can confirm all of these work because I unintentionally use them all the time! And they work most of the time :P
Very good tips, in most of cases if two people confronts and you go to stop them only you become the victim. :)
I am trying #4 asap!
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the last one don't work for me
number 5 is amazing..
what is relation between borrow a pencil with someone doesn't like another?
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very interesting! thank you for the information !!
nice!
By these posts I can tell who likely needs these tips the most. I think this is a wonderful share! I must say though, that I always thought that the arm crossing meant that one was closed off. I have since tried to stop myself from doing it. I love it!
@UnknownIf the persons facial expression is not hostile then folding ones arms comes across as patiently listening to the person and is appreciated.
good ,
Don't completely agree with number 7, as repeating a persons name too many times has the opposite effect. Basically repeating a persons name, can come across being intimidating and most likely cause the person to shut you out or can lead to an argument.
Next time you get a Telemarketer phoning you, selling you something you don't need or want... listen and note how many times they repeat your name and keep in mind how you feel.
Nice :) just one question, doesn't folding arms mean you don't care and it also looks defensive...
I have always noticed when people use these techniques. I find it somewhat insincere when I can tell it's being being done intentionally and consciously. Maybe I'm the exception.
I have heard of all of these and have tried some. They do work but less so now in a more hostile world. Many people are so uptight these days!
Nice in theory. These strategies work often but not so much now that we live in a more hostile world than ever. The important thing for me to keep in mind is to keep trying in hopes that the world will become a better place.
I like the post, these are practical tips that can be readily applied. However, the title does the content little justice.
good info for me..
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No.7 " Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation " is just about the most annoying thing I have ever experienced .. grrrrrr
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@Bothayna Sherif
I really like the provided Psychology stuff..... But the 6th and 7th point are useless and doesn't work out...
No 6 makes you look funny and No.7 can irritate anyone...
All good EXCEPT for the one about repeating someone's name over & over during a conversation. This is a complete and immediate turn-off to most everyone. Unless you are a total dork, you instantly realize this for the ploy it is... "Hmmmm, this guy keeps saying my name over & over & over. Not only is it extremely ANNOYING, 'me thinks' this gallant knight is trying to pull a fast one..." And most of the time it's true - usually a high-pressure sales pitch. Which we ALL HATE.
Thank you, Dr. J. While reading this article I kept thinking--due largely to the article's title--that either the blog author was being tongue-in-cheek, as if to suggest the list was designed for sociopaths, or s/he doesn't appreciate the loaded meaning of 'manipulation.' Regardless, I hope the author steps in to explain, "What's With the Title?".
Very good tips
I believe standing beside someone instead of in front of them is great for diffusing a conflicting situation. Great articles, and thanks for sharing. :)
Interesting n useful! I ll certainly put these points to use !
Niche :)
GREAT
I just "stumbled" upon this. Awesome content! Have to admit, on some level I have been aware of each of these. Nice to put a reason to the rhyme.
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Brilliant, I am going to try them. Thanks a lot!!
#7 is total BS! Repeating someone's name over and over will NOT make them like you. For many people, it will have the opposite effect. That technique was rampant int he 90's in used car lots. Kinda douchey now...
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@Paralyze The Fire
Speaking of anxiety, the next time you are engaged in a conversation with someone and you are standing, reduce anxiety and any sense of confrontation by motioning them to a seat, as you yourself sit while speaking. They will mirror your actions...Nodding your head affirmatively is a variation on the "Yes Yes" technique of gaining agreement- making two or three simple statements that ANYONE would agree with, like: It's a beautiful car, don't you think? Family is everything, isn't it? There's nothing like a puppy, is there?
As a professional in a similar field, I can concur with the effectiveness of these methods and have used them countless times with similar positive results.
These methods work well.
Worth of trying :)
cool,but sophisticated i think. Better explain it more elaborately, many things in here have consequences
Thankyou for the information.
interesting ready, good post
this is actually really helpful (:
Excellent ......
@mike forman - Shutup, Mike. Don't act like such an internet tough-guy, Mike. Nobody's buying it, Mike.
good ones, but what happens when we actually deal with people, we forget these things.
This is fantastic - i will certainly try all the points
great tips thank you
Why on earth would you go to the trouble of doing all this to get someone to like you???? they either do or they don't. !!! You can't force someone into liking you, if someone done all that to me, I'd think they were a bigger ass than originally thought.
#7 is false. It makes a person sound like a salesman and is confrontational/pushy.
Better Communication vs Manipulation
Bottom line-The difference is your intent.
Better Communication vs Manipulation:
Bottom Line-your intent!
@No So I could not agree with this more. I have always felt ill at ease when this was applied to me, so much so, that it made me confrontational, and ittitated.
Good points there :)
Use this to boost your social intelligence. Don't manipulate, interact well with.
It was happened in my life, something unexpected will happen after that, as the negative to the positive, thank you for delivering a lot of useful psychological tips.
I'm a sales man I can give you done better tips than this. main thing is keep calm and chive. nothing beats a good attitude. I naturally disarm people with positivity. if you want to just shoot me an email. I'll be glad to help.
These are great recommendations. I would add that we can overdo the use of a person's name. If they become aware of it, they will be annoyed and feel manipulated. It has happened to me, with a colleague using my name every few words.
very good comments..learned something just by viewing other people comments
samf
nice submission
Hate it when people keep repeating my name in conversation. It's almost always a salesperson who does it and it always puts me off dealing with them.
Yeah, when it's a salesperson excessive name repeating isn't amusing. However, repeating someone's name three times is a technique (of which I have heard but can't presently recall the source) for not forgetting a newly learned name. It doesn't necessarily always mean the person has an ulterior motive (other than the avoidance of a future, awkward loss for a name.)
great article
I don't think it'll work. If you will be constantly asking for help and borrowing everyone's pencils, the whole office will begin to hate you. Folded arms is a sign of protection not a good one. well, maybe some of that could be used to increase people liking you but I would really not give a credit to the whole combination.
why is this a blogger post. I don't even know how to use blogger.
This is very very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
This is fantastic
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