Can You Make Someone Change For You?

Friday 15 February 2013 0 comments

You can try but most of the time you’ll just get frustrated.  If someone is going to make a change, they have to decide that they’re going to do it for themselves.


If you’re in a relationship with someone you want to change, then you’re probably in the wrong relationship.  If you want to be romanced and your partner is just not the romantic type and you knew it from the start, then you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.  So you either have to accept it or YOU need to make a change.
Everyone has a choice about who they choose to be with in a relationship.  It’s your job to find out at the beginning what that person is all about.  If they like to get up at 6 a.m. on Saturday morning to climb mountains and you like to sleep in till noon, chances are that relationship won’t last.  They aren’t going to change you and you aren’t going to change them.  You can either acknowledge the differences and accept them or make a decision to end the relationship.

Of course there’s some give and take in any relationship but if you know in your heart it’s not for you, then go with that.  If there are things that just bug you or embarrass you but you think there’s still hope, you can always have an open and honest conversation and let them know how that makes you feel.  Chances are they may try, but old habits die hard so don’t expect any miracles.

If you can’t get past the things you think they need to change, then it’s time to move on.  There are lots of other things in the world that need change…maybe you can start working on one of those…and really make a difference.
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