10 Conversation Tactics Against Put Downs or Negative
Remarks
A1.
Ignoring. Sometimes, not saying anything back is actually a
powerful comeback. It shows the other person you are not fazed by what they said
or that what they’ve said is weak and not worth your words.
A2.
Selective Responding. Sometimes, the other person may say a bunch
of negative things to you, some things being more emotionally triggering than
others. Being able to control your emotions, pay attention to their weakest
point and tackle it. Turn the table around and make them look like a fool. By
responding selectively, you also show that you are devaluing/invalidating the
other comments.
A3.
Invalidation. Speaking of invalidation, this is applied
when you prove the other’s person’s point wrong, flawed or insignificant. To
show that something is insignificant to you, you usually just ignore the
comment or pretend that you are unfazed.
A4.
Questioning. Questioning is a very powerful technique
because it gets the other person thinking without you really showing that
you’re affected. For example, if they say ‘you suck,’ you can reply back, ‘what
exactly do you mean?’ instead of the usual non-effective replies like ‘get
lost.’ However, use questioning only if you seriously have time to really deal with this individual and really want to
get back at their head.
A5.
Mask Your Emotions. I know that being put down can really make
you really upset because I’ve had personal experiences of this, but the key is
not to show that you are bothered emotionally. When you show that you are upset
or angry, it could make you look weak in front of everyone. Being emotional
while arguing points can discredit a lot of things you say. Instead, you want
to focus solely on their statements and tackle those.
A6.
Agreeing to Disagree. This is almost like sarcasm except it’s
not. This is when you agree with their put down and then say something more
witty back. For example, if someone says ‘you are not smart,’ you can say
‘Sure, but you aren’t either.’ By saying something that agrees with their
statement actually puts you on the top because it invalidates what they’d said
since you are clearly showing you’re not affected or too bothered to deny or
defend (what shouldn’t be defended).
A7.
Sarcasm. Sarcasm is
powerful as well, because it could be used to make the other person look dumb
if they don’t get it and it also can be used to invalidate their statements.
A8. Humour.
Not all put down are meant to make you feel upset or angry. Sometimes friends
put you down to tease you or test you and you should be able to use humor to
make the conversation more entertaining. For example, if you could sarcasm or
agreeing to disagreeing which are always fun.
A9.
Replying out of context. You know those times when people just
go on and on and you’re not really listening? Well, to show that, you could be
like ‘so.. speaking of ice-cream..’. Something that is a different topic or not
related really to what they’d said shows that you have not listened. Pretty
much, the other person’s wasted their breath.
A10.
Get the crowd involved. If you’re bold enough and think you’re
capable, get the crowd involved such as speaking really loud so everyone can
hear your point and notice what’s going on. This might intimidate the other
person.
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