I wist Every one Must Learn These Lessons:
1. You can’t look for a long term partner and a sexual
encounter at the same time. You must look in different places, with different
techniques. For example, in a place with loud music, it is impossible for a
potential partner to get you know you. Someone just looking for sex does not
care. As a general rule, the longer you postpone getting into bed, the longer
your partner will hang around afterward.
2. When you are young, you tend to seek the best looking
partner. This attractiveness will be gone in a flash. Instead pick someone easy
to live with who has no nerve-grating habits.
3. There are three kinds of people:
- Those that like you naturally, or who would if they met you.
- Those that like you only while you are performing a mating dance with a steady stream of compliments, gifts, entertainments and undivided attention.
- Those that will never like you, including ones who had a relationship with you in the past and decided they did not like you after all.
For the purposes
of finding a suitable partner, studiously ignore anyone in category 2 or 3 no
matter how attractive.
4. Most of your time you spend wishing for things,
sometimes things you might buy, but it could be relationships, health, physical
fitness, political changes… But think. In past, every time you achieved one of
these things, the pleasure is momentary, sometimes over in a fraction of a second,
and rarely lasting more than a week. So to achieve continuous happiness this
way requires some major achievement or acquisition every couple of days. This
is impossible. If you want a continuously happy life, you must do it by
learning to appreciate what is under your nose, here and now. Your desires
seductively promise happiness if you but become a slave to them, but they
cannot deliver.
5. The life lesson I most wish I had learned early in
life is: If your partner dumps you, that is absolute proof they were not the
one no matter how attached you feel, no matter how much you believe you could
never love another, no matter how great it used to be, no matter if the
heartbreak is the worst pain you ever felt.
P.S. Your partner did not dump you if all they did was
have sex with someone else.
6. Play with your food! Do this, not to be virtuous, but
out of curiosity. For three days, drop some food from your diet and pay
attention to any differences. Do you have more or less energy? Do you sleep
better or worse? Do you have more or less diarrhea? Are you more or less
constipated? Do you have more or less gas? Do you feel more or less irritable?
Foods you might consider for experimentation include: sugar, coffee, meat,
eggs, nuts, fresh fruits, orange juice, bread, pasta, corn cereals, wheat,
salt, dairy products or anything you eat a large amount of. If you notice a
dramatic improvement, that might motivate you to consider a permanent change in
your diet putting the troublesome foods on the back burner. Similarly, try
adding a new food to your diet, or increasing the amount you eat, for three
days to see what happens. You might consider salads, fresh fruit, fresh
vegetables, fish, vitamin supplements, protein supplements or any of the foods
I mentioned earlier to try deleting. You might be surprised to discover that
candy bar you grab to give you energy has the exact opposite effect. No matter
what happens, whether you feel better, you feel worse or nothing at all
happens, this is still useful information you can use in shaping your future
diet. Something very simple might just hugely improve your life. If you do
discover something significant, you will kick yourself for not doing this
sooner.
7. You have heard it a thousand times in a hundred
different ways. The past cannot be changed. The past is over. The past is
frozen in liquid plastic; not a molecule can move. Yet still you say to
yourself what my mother called the saddest words in the English language, if
only. To say If only I had taken time to… is as silly as saying If only I had a
flying pig, I could go on the Tonight Show. You cannot change the past, though
you can change your attitude to it using techniques like EMDR. You cannot
change the past, though you can learn from it and ensure you don’t repeat the
same mistakes in future. If ever you catch yourself in regret, immediately
reframe that to I must make sure I never make that mistake again and let it go.
8. If someone does not like you, even if they once did,
give up. Even if you succeed in temporarily getting them to like you, it will
take escalating work to maintain the relationship. Seek your partners among
those who naturally like you. The rest might as well be invisible vis a vis
potential partners. Chasing after people who have rejected you is as silly as
going to the movies and waiting for some movie star to become your partner. On
the other hand, don’t presume people won’t like you just because they are
extraordinarily wonderful or beautiful. Pay attention to the objective clues as
to how well they like you, not to how well you calculate they should like you
based on your relative pecking order status. Hollywood convention is that if
the girl rejects the guy in the first reel, guaranteed they will be married in
the last. Real life does not work that way. Movies are just wishful fantasies.
If it appears no one likes you, find out why. Even a small improvement may
help. Are you too clingy?, are you always thinking about what the relationship
can do for you, never for your partner?, are you overweight?, do you have an
unpleasant body or mouth odour?, do you lack tact? You can’t change other
people, but you can change yourself.
9. Even if all your problems were caused 100% by your
parents it is pointless to wring your hands about the terrible hand life dealt
you. Nearly everyone heals their issues with their parents. It is just a matter
of how soon you get on with it.
10. Every moment, you are consciously or unconsciously
deciding what to do next. You have some unwritten rules for deciding your
priorities. You may usually do whatever makes the most money, which will be the
most fun, which will be the easiest, which will give you the biggest rush,
which will make you healthiest, most enlightened, most well liked, most
respected, the most secure, the most laid, the most powerful, the most famous,
the most feared, the best looking, the most knowledgeable etc. If you change
the rules even slightly, you will live a completely different life. Try asking
different questions. See what happens when you ask What will be most useful to
the universe?. Your priority rules are the biggest lever you have in
determining your fate. Of course the other big controlling priority is what you
choose to spend your time thinking about.
11. Do it now! Nearly all the great mathematicians and
physicists did their best work in their twenties. If you have grand dreams,
realise them now. You may well not have the energy later. Time seems to stretch
endlessly ahead of you, but your life is over in an eyeblink.
12. Don’t be attached to the results of your action.
Constant checking to see if your work has born fruit just wastes time and
causes discouragement. Some liken it to digging up a seed you have planted each
day to see how it is doing. Get on with something else. Never underestimate the
power of the futile gesture.
13. Understating your case is more persuasive than
overstating it. You supply the facts. Let others supply the emotion. If you
supply the emotion, others will take no action, believing you must have already
handled the problem.
14. When you can’t get what you want, one alternative to
trying harder to get it, is to talk yourself out of wanting it so badly, at
least not getting yourself upset over it. Similarly, when people do obnoxious
things, you are not obligated to get upset. For exactly how to avoid getting
upset, see Living Love.
15. You can’t tell if someone is lying just by how
sincere they sound. Habitual liars are those who have polished lying to a high
art. You would never suspect them based on their look or demeanor. However, I
have noticed liars tend to repeat the same old talking points, and take a
little too long to answer simple questions. They have to compose the answers
first and think about if they are falling into a consistency trap.
16. The years pass faster and faster as you get older. By
the time you reach puberty, your life is half over in psychological time. Don’t
procrastinate the truly important things.
17. If it sounds to good to be true, it nearly always is.
Don’t waste time looking for zero-effort ways to do things. You just set
yourself up to be conned. Find out what methods the people who actually
succeeded have used.
18. Think globally; act locally. Saving the world is a
huge job. Yours is just a small part. However, it is a necessary part.
19. The things you worry most about almost never happen.
If you don’t believe me, start tracking them.
20. Other people do things that annoy you, not to annoy
you, but in the usually-vain hope that doing so will make them feel better.
21. Despite the protestations of absolute Truth, there is
a tremendous amount of lying surrounding religion and spirituality.
22. At many times in your life it will seem as if you
have absolutely no energy or resources. But even then you can find something
you can do that will marginally improve your lot or keep it from getting even
worse than it would have naturally.
23. If you are not making any progress on your big
dreams, the very bigness of the dreams may be paralysing you. Think instead,
What could I do today that would marginally improve my lot. Focus not so much
on where you want to go, but where you could go immediately from here.
24. When you are coming in for a landing in a plane and
your ears won’t pop and you have a splitting headache, just plug your nose and
blow gently.
25. When you have dry congested nose, just snort up a bit
of water to clean it out.
26. Boiling water is a remarkable cleanser for kitchen or
bathroom. It dissolves dried on muck, kills germs, deodorises, leaving no
residue or perfume or caustic chemical odour.
27. The human body is only designed to last for forty
years in the wild. You must take extraordinary care of it over your whole life
if you want it to last you in comfort the eighty or ninety we humans live now.
Don’t buy into the religious notion it is wicked to look after your body.
28. While chasing after riches leads to an empty life,
chasing after poverty also leads to misery. Neither extreme is as pleasant as
the fairy tales make it out to be.
29. Winning the heart of someone much more physically
attractive than you can lead to misery by several routes.
- Others will compete to woo them away.
- You may become too besotted, and allow yourself to become psychologically enslaved.
- Chances are they are flawed in character or some other way otherwise you would not have been able to win them. You may find you have got yourself quite a temperamental handful.
- you can start feeling unworthy.
You are better
off finding someone more evenly matched in beauty who enjoys the same
activities you do.
Image Source: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1388923
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