20 Practical Tips for Understanding the Mind
Meditation
for Beginners: 20 Practical Tips for Understanding the Mind
Meditation has helped me to form all my other habits, it’s
helped me to become more peaceful, more focused, less worried about discomfort,
more appreciative and attentive to everything in my life. I’m far from perfect,
but it has helped me come a long way.
Probably most importantly, it has helped me understand my
own mind. Before I started meditating, I never thought about what was going on
inside my head — it would just happen, and I would follow its commands like an
automaton. These days, all of that still happens, but more and more, I am aware
of what’s going on. I can make a choice about whether to follow the commands. I
understand myself better (not completely, but better), and that has given me
increased flexibility and freedom.
So … I highly recommend this habit. And while I’m not saying
it’s easy, you can start small and get better and better as you practice. Don’t
expect to be good at first — that’s why it’s called “practice”!
These tips aren’t aimed at helping you to become an expert …
they should help you get started and keep going. You don’t have to implement
them all at once — try a few, come back to this article, try one or two more.
1. Sit
for just two minutes. This will seem ridiculously easy, to just
meditate for two minutes. That’s perfect. Start with just two minutes a day for
a week. If that goes well, increase by another two minutes and do that for a
week. If all goes well, by increasing just a little at a time, you’ll be
meditating for 10 minutes a day in the 2nd month, which is amazing! But start
small first.
2. Do
it first thing each morning. It’s easy to say, “I’ll
meditate every day,” but then forget to do it. Instead, set a reminder for
every morning when you get up, and put a note that says “meditate” somewhere
where you’ll see it.
3. Don’t
get caught up in the how — just do. Most people worry about where
to sit, how to sit, what cushion to use … this is all nice, but it’s not that
important to get started. Start just by sitting on a chair, or on your couch.
Or on your bed. If you’re comfortable on the ground, sit cross-legged. It’s
just for two minutes at first anyway, so just sit. Later you can worry about
optimizing it so you’ll be comfortable for longer, but in the beginning it
doesn’t matter much, just sit somewhere quiet and comfortable.
4. Check
in with how you’re feeling. As you first settle into your meditation
session, simply check to see how you’re feeling. How does your body feel? What
is the quality of your mind? Busy? Tired? Anxious? See whatever you’re bringing
to this meditation session as completely OK.
5. Count
your breaths. Now that you’re settled in, turn your attention
to your breath. Just place the attention on your breath as it comes in, and
follow it through your nose all the way down to your lungs. Try counting “one”
as you take in the first breath, then “two” as you breathe out. Repeat this to
the count of 10, then start again at one.
6. Come
back when you wander. Your mind will wander. This is an almost
absolute certainty. There’s no problem with that. When you notice your mind
wandering, smile, and simply gently return to your breath. Count “one” again,
and start over. You might feel a little frustration, but it’s perfectly OK to
not stay focused, we all do it. This is the practice, and you won’t be good at
it for a little while.
7. Develop
a loving attitude. When you notice thoughts and feelings arising
during meditation, as they will, look at them with a friendly attitude. See
them as friends, not intruders or enemies. They are a part of you, though not
all of you. Be friendly and not harsh.
8. Don’t
worry too much that you’re doing it wrong. You will worry you’re
doing it wrong. That’s OK, we all do. You’re not doing it wrong. There’s no
perfect way to do it, just be happy you’re doing it.
9. Don’t
worry about clearing the mind. Lots of people think
meditation is about clearing your mind, or stopping all thoughts. It’s not.
This can sometimes happen, but it’s not the “goal” of meditation. If you have
thoughts, that’s normal. We all do. Our brains are thought factories, and we
can’t just shut them down. Instead, just try to practice focusing your
attention, and practice some more when your mind wanders.
10. Stay
with whatever arises. When thoughts or feelings arise, and they will,
you might try staying with them awhile. Yes, I know I said to return to the
breath, but after you practice that for a week, you might also try staying with
a thought or feeling that arises. We tend to want to avoid feelings like
frustration, anger, anxiety … but an amazingly useful meditation practice is to
stay with the feeling for awhile. Just stay, and be curious.
11. Get
to know yourself. This practice isn’t just about focusing your
attention, it’s about learning how your mind works. What’s going on inside
there? It’s murky, but by watching your mind wander, get frustrated, avoid
difficult feelings … you can start to understand yourself.
12. Become
friends with yourself. As you get to know yourself, do it with a
friendly attitude instead of one of criticism. You’re getting to know a friend.
Smile and give yourself love.
13. Do
a body scan. Another thing you can do, once you become a
little better at following your breath, is focus your attention on one body
part at a time. Start at the soles of your feet — how do those feel? Slowly
move to your toes, the tops of your feet, your ankles, all the way to the top
of your head.
14. Notice
the light, sounds, energy. Another place to put your attention,
again, after you’ve practice with your breath for at least a week, is the light
all around you. Just keep your eyes on one spot, and notice the light in the
room you’re in. Another day, just focus on noticing sounds. Another day, try to
notice the energy in the room all around you (including light and sounds).
15. Really
commit yourself. Don’t just say, “Sure, I’ll try this for a
couple days.” Really commit yourself to this. In your mind, be locked in, for
at least a month.
16. You
can do it anywhere. If you’re traveling or something comes up in
the morning, you can do meditation in your office. In the park. During your
commute. As you walk somewhere. Sitting meditation is the best place to start,
but in truth, you’re practicing for this kind of mindfulness in your entire
life.
17. Follow
guided meditation. If it helps, you can try following guided
meditations to start with. My wife is using Tara Brach’s guided meditations,
and she finds them very helpful.
18. Check
in with friends. While I like meditating alone, you can do it
with your spouse or child or a friend. Or just make a commitment with a friend
to check in every morning after meditation. It might help you stick with it for
longer.
19. Find
a community. Even better, find a community of people who are
meditating and join them. This might be a Zen or Tibetan community near you
(for example), where you go and meditate with them. Or find an online group and
check in with them and ask questions, get support, encourage others. My Sea
Change Program has a community like that.
20. Smile
when you’re done. When you’re finished with your two minutes,
smile. Be grateful that you had this time to yourself, that you stuck with your
commitment, that you showed yourself that you’re trustworthy, where you took
the time to get to know yourself and make friends with yourself. That’s an
amazing two minutes of your life.
Meditation isn’t always easy or even peaceful. But it has
truly amazing benefits, and you can start today, and continue for the rest of
your life.
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