First, I believe there are two types of love: healthy and
unhealthy.
Unhealthy love
- It is being powerless, selfish and enabling. It has no boundaries.
- Unhealthy love is unconditional and yet contingent. It is immature, irresponsible and dependent. Unhealthy love is urgent.
- There is a desperation behind it which produces manipulation and compromise of self.
- Unhealthy love is a pissing contest, a tug of war, a mute silence and a kick stand. It is obvious.
- Unhealthy love promotes the false self and stunts growth. It is a drug.
Healthy love
- It is a choice. It is something you decide to give as a gift.
- It has conditions that shape the self and strengthen the other. Healthy love is feeling powerful and independent.
- It is grilled cheese and vegetable soup on a rainy day but not every day. Healthy love is patient, kind and accepting.
- Healthy love requires a tremendous amount of responsibility which involves communication on all levels and constant reflection. I
- t is building trust, having faith and holding a commitment. Healthy love promotes growth and two strong containers.
- Healthy love is rare.
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