6 Crucial Steps to minimize Spectacle in Your Life

Saturday, 28 June 2014 0 comments

Your close friend has as many catastrophes as there are days of the week. Maybe you’re the person everyone calls with their problems. Or maybe you unknowingly turn small issues into major crises and you’d like to stop feeling so overwhelmed. Whatever the case, you probably have at least a little Spectacle in your life that you’d like to minimize.  


Change your perspective.

A lot of the Spectacle takes place in our own heads, and it’s usually because we’re too deeply immersed in a difficult situation to recognize it isn’t as dire as it seems. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by a situation, step back and realize this feeling isn’t permanent—nothing is. Then focus on action steps—on the things you can control. What can you today to proactively create a solution

Recognize when you might be creating Spectacle.

If there’s Spectacle in multiple areas of your life, be honest with yourself—you’re the constant. Are you creating it? We don’t do anything repeatedly unless there’s something in it for us, so, what’s the payoff? Are you looking for attention or excitement? Did you grow up with Spectacle and you just plain feel best when there’s some around you? Now aim to find alternative solutions. If you’re looking for attention, can you get it more directly? If you’re bored, what new adventure can create in your life?

Reconsider unhealthy relationships.

Take an inventory of which people in your life leave you feeling stressed and unhappy more often than not. If you don’t want to completely remove a toxic relationship, minimize the time you spend together. If you don’t want to change how often you see each other, recognize Spectacle triggers. When the conversation moves toward her horrible mother, steer it somewhere else.

Be clear and straight with other people.

A lot of Spectacle comes from poor communication and confusion. Eliminate it by finding the courage to say exactly what you mean. It may be harder in the moment, but it can save a lot of heartache in the long run. On the flip side, let people know that they can be honest with you. If someone thinks they need to walk on eggshells around you, they’ll likely hold things in—but they will come out eventually, if not in words, in resentful actions.  

Be slow to label something as “Spectacle.”

Sometimes what we’re labeling as Spectacle is just someone who really needs us. Instead of expelling mental energy judging the situation as good or bad, focus on being there and being a friend in the moment. Then be a friend to yourself and let the Spectacle go when you walk away.  A lot of the Spectacle we experience in life comes from our interpretations of the things we experience—particularly after the moments have passed.

Learn from Spectacle.

Sometimes it seems like Spectacle happens to us, and we’re powerless to remove ourselves from the cause. Another perspective is that every time we find ourselves immersed in something that seems overwhelming, we have an opportunity to learn how to deal with challenges better. Life will always involve mini fires that we feel desperate to put out. If we can learn not to fan them, they may actually be able to light our way.
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