We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through
them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their
secret? Most of it has to do with attitude.
Here are 10 stuffs to recall when
life gets irregular:
1. You
are not a victim.
You need to get out of your own way. You are only a “victim”
of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one “does” something to you. You
are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and
realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with
changing your thoughts and actions. Abandon your victim mentality and become
victorious. From victim to VICTOR!
2. It’s
only a problem if you think it’s a problem.
Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really
dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your
thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can
learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.
3. If
you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t
you know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful? And isn’t that largely
because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing
our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change
ourselves first before our circumstances will change.
4.
There is no such thing as failure—only learning opportunities.
You should just wipe the word “failure” right out of your
vocabulary. All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over
and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did
not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t
work.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn something from them. Learn how to
do it better next time.
5. Let
go of desire.
Most people live with “attached mind.” What this means is
that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don’t get it, their
emotions plummet into negativity. Instead, try to practice “detached mind.”
That means that when you want something, you will still be happy whether you
get it or not. Your emotions remain happy or neutral.
6.
Understand and be grateful for your fears.
Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also
make you feel victorious. For example, when I was in college, I feared public
speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that
not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a college professor,
I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears just takes practice. Fear is
really just an illusion. It’s optional.
7.
Allow yourself to experience joy.
Believe it or not, I know way too many people who don’t
allow themselves to have fun. And they don’t even know how to be happy. Some
people are actually addicted to their problems and the chaos in them so much
that they wouldn’t even know who they are without them. So try to allow
yourself to be happy! Even if it’s just for a small moment, it’s important to
focus on joy, not your hardships.
8. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
But if you do compare yourself, compare yourself with people
who have it worse than you. Unemployed? Be grateful that you live in a country
that gives unemployment compensation, because most people in the world live on
less that $750 a year. So you don’t look like Angelina Jolie? Well, I bet there
are more people who don’t than do. And you are probably way better looking than
most people. Focus on that.
9.
Things can—and do—change.
“And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings.
When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We
think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent
except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be
this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to
change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.
10.
Anything is possible.
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