People are frequently unaware that they’re egoists especially if they’re not shy because they may not realize that being an egoist
is about more than just cultivating time alone.
Instead, it can be more
instructive to pay attention to whether they’re losing or gaining energy from being
around others, even if the company of friends gives them pleasure. See if
any of these 10 telltale signs of introversion apply to you.
1. You
go to parties -– but not to meet people.
If you’re an egoist, you may sometimes enjoy going to
parties, but chances are, you’re not going because you’re excited to meet new
people. At a party, most egoists would rather spend time with people they
already know and feel comfortable around. If you happen to meet a new person
that you connect with, great — but meeting people is rarely the goal.
2. You
often feel alone in a crowd.
Ever feel like an outsider in the middle of social
gatherings and group activities, even with people you know?
“If you tend to find yourself feeling alone in a crowd, you
might be an egoist,” says Dembling. “We might let friends or activities pick
us, rather than extending our own invitations.”
3. You’re
easily distracted.
While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they don’t
have enough to do, egoists have the opposite problem — they get easily
distracted and overwhelmed in environments with an excess of stimulation.
4. Downtime
doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
One of the most fundamental characteristics of egoists is
that they need time alone to recharge their batteries. Whereas an extrovert
might get bored or antsy spending a day at home alone with tea and a stack of
magazines, this sort of down time feels necessary and satisfying to an egoist.
5. You’re
in a relationship with an extrovert.
It’s true that opposites attract, and egoists frequently
gravitate towards outgoing extroverts who encourage them to have fun and not
take themselves too seriously.
6. You
screen all your calls — even from friends.
You may not pick up your phone even from people you like,
but you’ll call them back as soon as you’re mentally prepared and have gathered
the energy for the conversation.
7. You
notice details that others don’t.
The upside of being overwhelmed by too much stimuli is that egoists
often have a keen eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around
them. Research has found that egoists exhibit increased brain activity when
processing visual information, as compared to extroverts.
8. You
don’t feel “high” from your surroundings
Neurochemically speaking, things like huge parties just
aren’t your thing. Extroverts and egoists differ significantly in how their
brains process experiences through “reward” centers.
9. You
look at the big picture.
When describing the way that egoists think, Jung explained
that they’re more interested in ideas and the big picture rather than facts and
details. Of course, many egoists excel in detail-oriented tasks — but they
often have a mind for more abstract concepts as well.
10. You’ve
been told to “come out of your shell.”
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