How to Deal with Social Challenges Involving Put-downs

Tuesday, 22 October 2013 0 comments

How to Deal with Social Challenges Involving Put-downs
10 Ultimate tips to Deal with Social Challenges
10 Tips to Help You Deal with Social Challenges involving Put-downs

If you feel like you’ve been bullied through people saying bad things about you or trying to challenge your intelligence, here are 10 tips that might be helpful:

A1. Ignoring. Sometimes, not saying anything back is actually a powerful comeback. It shows the other person what they’ve said is weak and that you are not fazed.

A2. Selective Responding. Sometimes, the other person may say a bunch of negative things to you, some things being more emotionally triggering than others. Being able to control your emotions, pay attention to their weakest point and tackle it. Turn the table around and make them look like a fool. By responding selectively, you also show that you are devaluing/invalidating the other comments.

A3. Invalidation. Speaking of invalidation, this is applied when you prove the other’s person’s point wrong, flawed or insignificant. To show that something is insignificant to you, you usually just ignore the comment or pretend that you are unfazed.

A4. Questioning. Questioning is a very powerful technique because it gets the other person thinking without you really showing that you’re affected. For example, if they say ‘you suck,’ you can reply back, ‘what exactly do you mean?’ instead of the usual non-effective replies like ‘get lost.’ However, use questioning only if you seriously have time to really  deal with this individual and really want to get back at their head.

A5. Mask Your Emotions. I know that being put down can really make you really upset because I’ve had personal experiences of this, but the key is not to show that you are bothered emotionally. When you show that you are upset or angry, it could make you look weak in front of everyone. Being emotional while arguing points can discredit a lot of things you say. Instead, you want to focus solely on their statements and tackle those.

A6. Agreeing to Disagree. This is almost like sarcasm except it’s not. This is when you agree with their put down and then say something more witty back. For example, if someone says ‘you are not smart,’ you can say ‘Sure, but you aren’t either.’ By saying something that agrees with their statement actually puts you on the top because it invalidates what they’d said since you are clearly showing you’re not affected or too bothered to deny or defend (what shouldn’t be defended).

A7. Sarcasm.  Sarcasm is powerful as well, because it could be used to make the other person look dumb if they don’t get it and it also can be used to invalidate their statements.

A8. Humor. Not all put down are meant to make you feel upset or angry. Sometimes friends put you down to tease you or test you and you should be able to use humor to make the conversation more entertaining. For example, if you could sarcasm or agreeing to disagreeing which are always fun.

A9. Replying out of context. You know those times when people just go on and on and you’re not really listening? Well, to show that, you could be like ‘so.. speaking of ice-cream..’. Something that is a different topic or not related really to what they’d said shows that you have not listened. Pretty much, the other person’s wasted their breath.

A10. Get the crowd involved. If you’re bold enough and think you’re capable, get the crowd involved such as speaking really loud so everyone can hear your point and notice what’s going on. This might intimidate the other person.

Disclaimer: These tactics are not to be used as a mean to hurt others back, but to maintain your own face, to stimulate an interaction, or for your own purposes. . For more insightful advice, you might want to consider reading: The Four Agreements.
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