How To Deal With An Overbearing Friend Or Partner

How To Deal With An Overbearing Friend Or Partner

Despite their good intentions, we sometimes find ourselves faced with a friend or a partner who comes on too strong, is a bit too pushy, or becomes overly involved in our lives. While we love having people close to us, there’s a fine line between close and too close. Here’s how to deal with an overbearing friend or partner:

1A: Subtly create space. Create a bit of space or distance between the two of you but do it in a subtle way. Don’t cut them off completely or totally avoid them. They’ll wonder what they did wrong and will think that you’re mad at them, which might only make them cling more. Instead, try to subtly talk less about the subjects that you feel they’re interfering with. If they have taken over your search for a new job then just try to steer clear of that topic and work on updating your resume when you’re alone instead of involving them in it. This will give you a bit more breathing room in certain areas where you feel smothered without completely cutting them of.

2A: Help them to find something in their life. They might be overly involved in your life as a way to fill a void in their own. Encourage them to find something in their own life to be passionate about or a new goal to work towards. Getting them involved and busy with their own lives should free up the amount of time they spend meddling in yours.

3A: Talk to them about boundaries. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts in wanting to help you, but tell them that there are certain aspects of your life that you need to set boundaries in. This won’t be an easy conversation to have, but letting them know that you don’t need them to fill out college applications for you will be much easier than beating around the bush and avoiding them. Dealing with it head on let’s them know exactly what you want, and will avoid leaving them wondering why you’re pushing them away.

4A: Ask their input on other things. You might not need a friend to be totally involved in your relationship with your partner, but maybe you can involve them in other little things in your life, like your search for a new pair of shoes, or some other trivial things. They will get to still feel valued and involved but it won’t be on anything major in your life, and you’ll be less likely to feel smothered.

5A: Appreciate them. This is really a good problem to have – they are overbearing because they care about you and want what’s best for you. Let them know how much you value their opinion and their desire to help you, but emphasize that you need to make your own choices.