How
To Deal With Unrequited Love
Reverse Psychology is often used in relationships to get our
partner to do something that they don’t want to do. It’s done by suggesting the
opposite of what you actually want someone to do. It can be effective and
harmless when used correctly, but since it’s a way of manipulating someone it
can also backfire if used in the wrong situations. Here are some things to
consider when using reverse psychology in relationships:
A1: Use
it as a motivator. Reverse psychology is best used as a motivator
for something positive, rather than as a way of tricking someone into something
they don’t want. Use it to inspire your partner to change for the better or to
improve on something. For example, you might say something like “You’re right,
taking on that new role at work might be too much of a challenge” if you want
to motivate them to take a new opportunity.
A2: It
makes people feel in control. Reverse psychology works well
because it makes people feel like they are in control of the decision, not that
they are being forced into it by someone else, or coerced into something. Some
people are very resistant to being told what to do, so it’s a way to suggest
certain outcomes or behaviors without telling them what to do flat-out.
A3: Makes
something seem unattainable and more desirable.
Reverse psychology works well when people think that a certain outcome is
unattainable. They become motivated and it becomes even more desirable. For
example, you might say “It’s probably a good idea not to apply for that job, there
will be a ton of really qualified people up for it”. By making the goal seem
unattainable it becomes even more desirable, making them want to go for it even
more.
A4: It
works well for certain people. Reverse psychology works best
with people who are stubborn or competitive, who need to feel like something
was their own idea instead of feeling like they are being persuaded or told
what to do.
A5: It’s
harmful for certain people. People with low confidence or low
self-esteem don’t respond well to reverse psychology. When you tell them they
can’t do something (in hopes of motivating them to actually do it) they’ll just
believe you and become discouraged. It can be damaging to people who are
already lacking in self-confidence.
A6: Use
it with caution. Only you can really know when reverse
psychology is appropriate in your relationship, and when it just feels
manipulative. It’s best used for smaller things, like getting someone to clean
up after themselves, than for major life decisions like convincing someone to
get married. It is a form of manipulation, so overdoing it or using it too much
means that you’re spending too much time trying to control your partner.
A7: Understand
what makes them tick. Reverse psychology works best when you know
what really makes a person tick, or what really motivates them. If you know
someone is really motivated by competition, or by what people think, you can
then use that as the driving force behind your argument for getting them to do
something. They’re more likely to respond if you know what’s important to them.
A8: Know
when to back off. We usually use reverse psychology to motivate
people and to give them a nudge in the right direction, but it’s important to
know when to back off. Sometimes we think we know what’s right for someone, but
they aren’t ready for it. We can use reverse psychology to try to help someone
make a move in the right direction but if they are really resistant we need to
be respectful and know when to back off.
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