Everyone has a “love language,” a primary way of expressing
and interpreting love. This will vary from person to person, but will usually
be just one (or two) of the following:
A1. Words
of Affirmation - If this is your love language, unsolicited
compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are
important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.
Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
A2. Quality
Time
- Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for
this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork
and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant
other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the
failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
A3. Receiving
Gifts - Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the
receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the
gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you
are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed
to bring the gift to you.
A4. Acts
of Service - Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love?
Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on
an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want
to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making
more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
A5. Physical
Touch - A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not
surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful
touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement,
concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while
neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
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