What is Attachment Disorder?
Attachment
disorder is where a child or adult is unable to form normal
healthy attachments. This is usually due to detrimental early life experiences
- such as neglect, abuse, separation from their parents or primary caregivers
(after six months of age and before three years of age), frequent change of
caregivers, and lack of responsiveness from their caregivers.
Symptoms vary depending on age. In adults, they fall
under one of two categories – either avoidant or anxious/ ambivalent
personalities. These are summarized below.
1.
Avoidant
· Intense
anger and hostility
·
Hypercritical of others
· Extremely
sensitive to criticism, correction or blame
· Lacks
empathy
· Sees
others as untrustworthy and unreliable
· Either
sees themselves as being unlovable or “too good” for others
·
Relationships are experienced as either being too threatening or
requiring too much effort
· Fear of
closeness and intimacy
·
Compulsive self-reliance
· Passive
or uninvolved in relationships
· Find it
hard to get along with co-workers and authority figures
· Prefers
to work alone, or to be self employed
· May use
work to avoid investing in relationships
2.
Anxious/ Ambivalent
·
Demonstrates compulsive caregiving
· Problems
with establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries
· Feels
they give they give more than they get back
· Feels
their efforts aren’t noticed or appreciated
· Idealizes
people
· Expects
their partner to repeatedly demonstrate their love, affection and commitment to
them, and the relationship
·
Emotionally over-invests in friendships and romantic relationships
· Are
preoccupied with close relationships
· Overly
dependent on their partner
· Believes
that others are out to use them or to take advantage of them
· Fears
rejection
· Is
uncomfortable with anger
·
Experiences a roller coaster of emotions – and often these are extremes
of emotion
· Tends to
be possessive and jealous; finds it hard to trust
· Believes
they are essentially flawed, inadequate and unlovable.
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