The Shadow Exercise
"Think of
someone you know whom you don't like very much. Maybe you even hate this
person. On a piece of paper, write down a description of that person. Write
down what it is about this individual's personality that you don't like. Be as
specific as you can."
When everyone
in the class is finished writing, I tell them to draw a box around what they
have written - and at the top of the box write "MY SHADOW."
"Consider
this," I tell them. "What you have written down is some hidden part
of yourself - some part that you have suppressed or hidden. It is what Jung
would call your SHADOW. Maybe it's a part of you that you fear, can't accept,
or hate for some reason. Maybe it's a part of you that needs to be expressed or
developed in some way. Maybe you even secretly wish you could be something like
that person whom you hate."
Invariably, the
students' reactions to this idea are mixed. Some immediately see the
connection; some immediately reject the idea. When I ask the class how many of
them have friends or romantic partners who fit the description of the
"hated" person, many are surprised to see that this is indeed the
case. The exercise always leads to interesting discussions about how we project
suppressed parts of ourselves onto others, and about why we sometimes choose
these "hated" people for our close relationships.
Post a Comment