Best ways to change someone’s Mind
Many people try to plant ideas in
someone’s mind for their purpose means they want to change their mind as
for their connivance.If you've ever been convinced by a salesperson that you truly wanted a product, done something too instinctively, or made choices that seemed entirely out of character, then you've had an idea planted in your mind. Here's how it's done.
Note: We've gotten a lot of emails about how to do this in
specific situations. Although some of those situations have been legitimate,
this post was written to teach you to detect these tactics rather than use them
on others. If you want a good way to convince people to do what you want that
doesn't involve the dark side of manipulation, read this.
Before we get started, it's worth noting that planting an
idea in someone's mind without them knowing is a form of manipulation. We're
not here to judge you, but this is the sort of thing most people consider evil,
so you probably shouldn't actually do anything you read here. Instead, use this
information to stay sharp.
If you've seen the film Inception, you might think that
planting an idea in someone's mind is a difficult thing to do. It's not. It's
ridiculously easy and it's tough to avoid. We're going to take a look at some
of the ways it can work.
Never Talk
About the Idea — Talk Around It
Getting someone to want to do something can be tough if you
know they're not going to want to do it, so you need to make them believe it
was their idea. This is a common instruction, especially for salespeople, but
it's much easier said than done. You have to look at planting ideas in the same
way you'd look at solving a mystery. Slowly but surely you offer the target a
series of clues until the obvious conclusion is the one you want. The key is to
be patient, because if you rush through your "clues" it will be
obvious. If you take it slow, the idea will form naturally in their mind all by
itself.
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Let's say you're trying to get your friend to eat healthier
food. This is a good aim, but you've got a tough enemy: they're addicted to the
Colonel and need a bucket of fried chicken at least once a day. Out of concern
you tell them to eat healthier. They either think that's a good idea and then
never do anything or just tell you to stop nagging them. For them to realize
what they're doing to their body, they need to have an epiphany and you can
make that happen by talking around the issue.
To do this you need to be very clever and very subtle,
otherwise it will be obvious. You can't just say "oh, I read today that
fried chicken is killing 10 million children in Arkansas every year"
because that's a load of crap and comes with an incredibly obvious motivation
for saying it. If chicken is the target, you need to make chicken seem really
unappealing. Next time you sneeze, make a joke about coming down with the avian
flu. When you're ordering at a restaurant together, verbally convey your
decision to order something other than chicken because you just learned how
most chicken is processed by restaurants. When you've done enough of these
things—and, again, with enough space between them so that it doesn't seem like
odd behavior—you can start being a little more aggressive and stop going with
your friend to get fried chicken. You can also take proactive steps to improve
your own health and tell your friend 1) what you're doing, and 2) how well it's
working for you. After a few weeks, if your friend hasn't decided to reconsider
his or her position on frequent fried chicken, you can casually mention it and
they should be much more open to having a real discussion.
Reverse
Psychology Actually Works
Reverse psychology has become an enormous cliché. I think
this peaked in 1995 with the release of the film Jumanji. (If you've seen it
and remember it, you know what I'm talking about.) The problem is that most
people look at reverse psychology in a very simple way. For example, you'd say
"I don't care if you want to go risk your life jumping out of a
plane" to try and convince someone not to go skydiving. This isn't reverse
psychology—it's passive-aggressive. So let's leave that all behind and start
from scratch.
If you're going to use logic reversals in your favor, you
need to be subtle. Let's say you want your roommate to do the dishes because
it's his or her turn. There's always this approach:
"Hey, would you mind doing the dishes? It's your
turn."
But in this example we're assuming your roommate is lazy and
the nice approach isn't going to get the job done. So what do you do? Something
like this:
"Hey, I've decided I don't want to do the dishes anymore
and am just going to start buying disposable stuff. Is that cool with you? If
you want to give me some money, I can pick up extras for you, too."
What this does is present the crappy alternative to not doing
the dishes without placing any blame. Rather than being preoccupied with an
accusation, your roommate is left to only consider the alternative. This is how
reverse psychology can be effective, so long as you say it like you mean it.
Undersell
Underselling is probably one of the easiest and most
effective ways to plant an idea in someone's mind. This is another version of
reverse psychology but at a less aggressive level. Let's say you're trying to
sell someone a hard drive. They could buy a 250GB, 500GB, or 1TB hard drive.
You want to sell the largest hard drive possible because those cost more and
mean more money for you. Your buyer is coming in with the idea that they want
to spend the least money possible. You're not going to get very far by telling
them they should spend more money when you know they don't want to. Instead,
you need to cater to what they want: the cheap option. Here's a sample
dialogue:
Buyer: Can you
tell me about this 250GB hard drive? I want to make sure it will work for me.
You: What
kind of computer do you have and what do you want to use it for?
Buyer: I have a
2-year old Windows laptop and I need it to store my photos. I have about 30GB
of photos.
You: 250GB is
definitely more than enough for just storing your photos, so as long as you
don't have many more files you might want to put onto the drive it should be
just fine for your needs.
This last sentence instills doubt in the buyer. You could
even add "you'd only need a larger drive if you wanted to be absolutely
sure you'll have enough space in the future" but that might be pushing it
a little bit. The point is, if you appear to have their best interests at heart
it can be easy to make them think they want to buy more from you.
Again, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone
that planting ideas in the minds of others is not necessarily a nice thing to
do. Use this information to detect when someone's doing it to you and not
necessarily as a guide to do it to somebody else.
Image Source: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/823109
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