How a Perfectionist think?
How to be a Perfectionist?
If you want to be a perfectionist then don’t read this
article because perfectionism don’t come from reading “how to be a perfect”, if
you don’t want to be a perfect then read this article because you will get
knowledge about how a perfectionist think.
Perfectionist
thinking
A person with low self confidence tends to set themselves
unreasonably high standards They’re a
perfectionist. This seriously under mines their confidence because nothing they
do is ever quite good enough; therefore, they never give themselves credit for
their achievements. The thing about confidence – or the lack of it – is that it
usually involves doing something new or unfamiliar, and with that comes plenty
of potential for uncertainty. Think for a moment…
How is it possible to do something perfectly when it’s
something new or unfamiliar?
How is it possible to do something perfectly when it
involves uncertainty?
Setting yourself unrealistic standards means effectively
setting yourself up for failure before you even start. It’s hardly inspiring,
and it does nothing to encourage ‘giving it a go’. And if you do give it a go,
the outcome is bound to be a disappointment and the whole exercise is probably
never repeated. The only way to build self confidence is to actually ‘do
something’ and experience that amazing feeling of success and achievement
yourself. So you can see just how damaging a perfectionist attitude is to
building confidence because it discourages taking action.
Too
small, too big
Another thing about being a perfectionist is that the
little things often don’t count. They’re just not important enough to matter
and not worth doing. Even if they are worth doing, they’re certainly not
significant enough to warrant any credit. So you never experience that all
important sense of progress and achievement. On the other hand, the big things
are way too scary to ever contemplate and are best avoided too. Even when you
do attempt them it’s often a step too far, and with unrealistic expectations the
outcome is bound to be a disappointment. So again, no sense of progress and
achievement. Small manageable steps is the way to go, and with plenty of
recognition and self praise every step of the way, no matter how small.
Black
and white thinking
“If it’s not absolutely perfect then it’s a disaster!”
Are they familiar words? It’s called ‘black and white’
thinking – one extreme or the other – but in life, things are rarely black or
white. What about all those other shades in between? The trouble with black and
white thinking is that things are seldom absolutely brilliant, so that leaves
only one other possibility; utter disaster! Left unchecked this negative thinking style can erode self
esteem and eventually lead to depression. Neither of these do anything to
improve your level of self confidence.
Self
to self comparison
When you tackle a task, do you choose somebody who’s
really good at it – a real expert – and compare your performance to theirs?
That’s simply being ridiculous, and it sets you up for failure yet again
because nothing you do will ever measure up. There’s only one person to compare
your performance with; your own performance last week.
Thus, having unrealistic expectations will guarantee
disappointing outcomes and that does nothing to inspire confidence and
encourage perseverance. The key to good self confidence is therefore, having
realistic, achievable standards and expectations. Aim to be your best, but no
better!
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