How to Improve Conversation skills.
Best tips to improve conversation skills.
Most of the people lead their lives with their conversation skills it brings them money, friends and lot more whatever they want.
Most of the people lead their lives with their conversation skills it brings them money, friends and lot more whatever they want.
The art of conversation like any art is a skill of
elegance, nuance and creative execution.
I happen to believe that there is an art to everything we
do and why not?
Without flair and panache most things become drudgery.
Why settle for drudgery when you can have art?
When it comes to the art of conversation we've all met
people who seem to have knack for it. They can talk to anybody about anything
and they seem to do it with complete ease. And while it's true that there are
those who are born with the gift of gab, luckily for the rest of us,
conversation skills can be developed and mastered.
Conversation is a form of communication; however, it is
usually more spontaneous and less formal. We enter conversations for purposes
of pleasant engagement, in order to meet new people, to find out information,
and to enjoy social interactions. As far as types of conversation, they vary
anywhere from intellectual conversations and information exchanges to friendly
debate and witty banter.
While there is more to having good conversation skills
than being a comedian, dramatic actor, or a great story teller, it is not
necessary to become more gregarious, animated, or outgoing. Instead, you can
develop the ability to listen attentively, ask fitting questions, and pay
attention to the answers - all qualities essential to the art of conversation.
With diligent practice and several good pointers, anyone can improve their
conversation skills.
Tips
on How to Improve Your Conversation Skills
Show
interest and be curious. People who are genuinely interested in
others are usually interesting themselves. Why? Because they are more open to
learning about and understanding new things. Showing interest also encourages
the other person to be relaxed and share information more freely. Display
attentiveness by keeping good eye contact and listening actively.
If you happen to be shy and need time to warm up before
you share your own views, you can ask open-ended questions or encourage the
other person to elaborate on their insights. This kick-starts the conversation
and before you know it you are engaged in a good conversational flow.
Ensure
there is a balance of give and take. A conversation can get
boring quickly if one person is doing all the talking while the other is trying
to get a word in edgewise. When that happens whoever is not talking begins to
tune out and there is no conversation!
There can be many reasons for a lack of give and take.
Sometimes nervousness can get in the way and you ramble on without realizing
it. Or, nervousness can make you freeze and you don't know what to say next. If
you find yourself freezing up, take a deep breath and do your best to focus;
smile, and then reflect on what you want to say. If the other person is the
rambler and you've tried several times to interject but haven't been able to,
then excuse yourself politely and move on.
If later on you realize that you were the rambler (heaven
forbid), then at least you will have made the most important step towards
improvement which is - awareness.
Determine whether your tendency to dominate a
conversation is due to nervousness or self-involvement. Either way, review the
conversation in your head. Look for spots where you could have paused and
allowed the other person to talk. For future conversations a good rule of thumb
is after you make a point, pause for either agreement or an alternative point
of view. Observe body language for cues whether to stop or continue. For
example, is the person glossy-eyed and therefore bored? Are they moving towards
you to speak and you just keep on talking? Are they looking elsewhere (for an
escape) while you are carrying on? In a good conversation each person needs to
express themselves or it is no longer a conversation but a monologue.
Be
interesting and have something to say. While you don't have to be
a comedian, entertainer, or brilliant raconteur, you do need to be interesting
otherwise what would you say? If you are not well informed, tend not to read
much, or have very few interests, you will have very little to talk about
except yourself. Unfortunately, no one wants to hear about your latest
troubles, conquests, or daily routine. Yet so many dull conversationalists
believe that's what people want to hear from them. Who hasn't been stuck with
someone at a social event who blathers away about their family history, latest
job interview, or the like?
To avoid being that person, become knowledgeable about
world events, people in the news, or what's going on locally. Take time to keep
up with the latest music, new technological discoveries, or recent best
sellers. No one can know everything, so if you can enlighten someone during the
course of a conversation, you'll be a hit! By the same token, you can learn
something new as well.
Of course, not all conversations are knowledge sharing
gatherings or discussions of global import. Many, especially at social
functions, consist of light-hearted and cheerful banter. In such cases, be
aware of the tone and mood of the conversation and go with the flow. If you are
not particularly good at one-liners, or much of a jokester, you can always
listen, smile and enjoy the humor. Never act like you feel out of place or ill
at ease.
Be
relaxed, be yourself. If you are on edge, or trying to be someone
you're not, it will show and therefore doom a conversation to failure before it
starts. Admittedly, if you are not relaxed it's hard to appear as if you are.
Slow down and take a deep breath. If you don't do your best to relax, you will
end up saying something silly, unintelligible, or unrelated to the
conversation. Also smile warmly; it will make you appear pleasant and therefore
more approachable. Worth noting: if you are trying to hard to be something
you're not, you will come across as a fake or a wannabe.
To start a conversation, go up to someone and introduce
yourself. It is both polite and necessary to start things off smoothly. If the
occasion calls for it, you can offer a handshake and then smile and make eye
contact. Being friendly puts the other person at ease and opens the door for
them to introduce themselves. If, for whatever reason, your attempt is not
well-received and you notice the other person is cool or standoffish, bow out
gracefully and move on. Do not take it as a rejection; merely consider that the
person has their reasons for not reciprocating. Perhaps they are not feeling
well, have had a bad day, or are not in the mood for conversation.
To
improve, practice and then practice some more. The art of conversation,
like any skill, takes practice. Do not expect to be adept after your first few
attempts. It will take practice as well as exposure to many different social
situations. A good way to get practice before you venture out to an event is
with family members and people you are comfortable with. They can give you
helpful and supportive feedback, which in turn gives you something to work on.
You can never have too much practice!
Quick-Tips
for The Art of Conversation
1. Do not dominate a conversation or make it all about
you. A monologue is not conversation.
2. Show interest and curiosity in others.
3. Strive for a balance of give and take.
4. Be an active listener by maintaining good eye contact
and asking pertinent questions.
5. Train yourself to relax by using visualization,
meditation, or other relaxation methods. Being relaxed is vital for good
conversation.
6. Do not interrupt and cut in with your own ideas before
the other person is finished speaking.
Maintain an open mind; everyone has a right to express
themselves even if you don't agree with what they are saying.
Although this is cliché, try to avoid topics such as sex,
religion and politics. You would be surprised at how many people get trapped by them and end up in
verbal battle, not conversation.
Be prepared by staying on top of the latest news,
developments and world events.
Be approachable by staying relaxed, smiling and
maintaining a friendly attitude.
Possessing the art of conversation improves personal,
social and work relationships. It gives you the opportunity to meet interesting
new people and introduces you to various new topics and subject matter. With
practice and application anyone can improve their conversation skills.
Image source: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1382970
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