Reading body language is one the
best way to study a person. Much of human communication is expressed through
body language, flirting included. It's not enough to flirt through words, as
words can seem fake or dishonest if they don't match the nonverbal message
being sent.
Men
as well as women utilize body-language flirting all the time, often
subconsciously. Yet what good does it do for a man to flirt if the woman
doesn't recognize the flirting for what it is?
Here
are nine tips for decoding the sometimes confusing world of men’s body-language
flirting.
1. He Attempts to be the Alpha Male
The
rules and customs of modern society, of course, generally outweigh these
biological instincts.
But
when it comes to flirting, we tend to revert to our more primitive instincts.
Many
of a male’s attempts at body-language flirting may simply go unnoticed, or may
be misinterpreted.
A
woman may see a man who struts around a room or attempts to make others appear
subordinate as a jerk.
He
may, as a peacock does, simply be using a primitive form of body language.
Of
course, whether you respond to this type of flirting is entirely up to you.
A
slightly more refined version of this "alpha male" body-language
flirting involves carving out personal space.
He
will settle himself into a seat and spread out his personal belongings.
Keys,
cigarettes, any items that he has readily available will be placed on the table.
These
actions send the signal that he has carved out his territory.
2. He Catches Your Eye
If he catches your eye, it is a
sign of interest. His gaze will pass quickly over women that he does not find
attractive.
If
you're interested in a man who catches your eye, let your eye contact hold for
just a few seconds, then look away.
If
you're not interested, hold the gaze only long enough to let him know that you
saw him and then turn away.
When
he sees that you maintained eye contact momentarily, he will know you are also
interested in him.
At
this point, he may be interested in approaching you.
If
he starts in your direction, and you are interested, encourage him with a warm
smile.
You
do not want to appear desperate or needy, but friendly and approachable
expressions are important.
Catch
his eye again and then drop your gaze.
3. He Approaches You Confidently and Respectfully
A
shy or insecure guy may not approach at all, or will show hesitation and
nervousness.
If
a guy is a jerk, or only interested in hooking up with you momentarily, he will
invade your personal territory too quickly. Feel free to give this type of guy
the cold shoulder.
A
guy who wants to flirt to get to know you will allow you to take the lead in
the next step.
He
will remain standing and introduce himself.
He
may ask if he can join you, but will most likely wait for your invitation
before sitting down.
4. He Demonstrates Active Listening
He
will turn his body toward you slightly.
He
will make eye contact, nod and show other signs of actively listening to the
things you say.
5. He Subtly Enters Your Personal Space
We
are most comfortable when others stay outside of our 3-foot personal bubble.
In
a crowded room, we can tolerate others who come somewhat closer, and sitting at
a bar table may bring two people quite close together.
Nonetheless,
if the personal bubble shrinks, it should not disappear.
If
a man enters your personal bubble in a slight and subtle way, it is a clear
sign of body-language flirting.
He
may shift in his seat to come closer to you, or lay a personal item such as his
keys on the table close to you.
6. He Initiates Touch
He
may brush your shoulder slightly when gesturing, bump your knee with his, or
make some other contact you might barely notice consciously.
Subconsciously,
however, this is a sign that the guy is interested in getting to know you
better.
7. He Ignores His Cell Phone
Most
men, like women, are conditioned to reflexively respond to stimuli such as a
cell phone.
Purposely ignoring or turning off
his cell phone sends a clear signal that he finds you more interesting than
whoever might be calling.
This
is a big step and may not occur during an initial meeting.
If
it does, it is a definite sign that you have captured his imagination.
8. He Takes Things Slowly
His
goal is to meet a like-minded woman and move on to other activities.
However,
if he is sincerely interested in you, he will move slowly.
He
will let you set the pace. He may throw out small clues that he is interested
in progressing, but he will see if you are amenable before proceeding.
He
is patient and willing to accomplish nothing more than a conversation with a
fascinating woman.
Some
women misread these cues and assume that if a man is not trying to grope her by
the end of the evening, he is not interested.
If
his actions signal body-language flirting, and he is patient and willing to
progress slowly, odds are good that he has respect for you.
9. His Goodbye is Warm and Friendly
He
will likely ask for your phone number, and his eyes will show appreciation if
he receives it.
He
will open the opportunity for a hug by finding another excuse to subtly touch
you, but he will most likely not initiate the hug.
If
he does, it will be a warm, friendly hug as opposed to an attempted groping.
He
will maintain eye contact while he tells you how nice it was to meet you.
Body
language flirting is complex. Men and women often have very different ways of
flirting through body language.
This
can lead to confusion or unnecessarily hurt feelings when each assumes that the
other is not interested.
Therefore,
it is important to understand how men flirt.
Understanding
men’s body-language flirting techniques can make you more likely to correctly
interpret a man’s signals.
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