Yes, all the love and feelings are caused by the hormones
present in our body. Apart from the feelings you get when hormones such as
Phenylethylamine are pumped into your blood, love is an emotion triggered by
your subconscious mind to bring you closer to a person whom it thinks is
important for your well being.
Here is an example that will help you understand how love
happens. Suppose that you were experiencing a down time and that someone kept
helping you everyday in getting over your problems.
In this case your subconscious mind will find out that
staying with that person improves your mood and so it will make you love him to
insure that you are going to stay close to him.
Real love can in many cases be an emotion triggered by
the subconscious mind to help you stay closer to people who can improve your
mood.
Is
this real love?
You might be wondering why would you love that person
instead of thinking of him as a great friend.
The answer is simple if that person matched your
unconscious criteria, which is a list that a person must meet in order for you
to love him, then you will fall in love with him and if he didn't he will just
become a good friend. (see How love really works).
In my book “How to get over someone in few days” i
explained how falling in love results from finding someone who matches your
subconscious criteria. That's why you shouldn't feel bad after a breakup
because sooner or later you will find a better match!
Real
love and compensation
People also fall in love to compensate for their unmet
needs. If a girl lacks self confidence then there is a great chance that she
will become attracted to confident people provided that all other factors are
constant.
This also answers the question about whether people get
attracted to those who are similar to them or those who are different than
them. People get attracted to those who are similar to them in the traits they
like about themselves and those who are different than them in the traits they
dislike about themselves.
Some people say that real love is unconditional love where
you love a person because of the way he is rather than loving him to compensate
for an unmet need.
In real world pure unconditional love is almost non
existent and relationships are based on a combination of both conditional and
unconditional love.
However the more you shift away from compensation towards
unconditional love the more will your relationship become a healthy one and the
more likely you will encounter real love.
I think its impossible to have a relation that doesn’t
contain those two factors (unmet needs &compensation) but the more you move
away from the them the closer you will get to real love.
Image Source: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1295739
Post a Comment