Let’s know about the Control-Me Syndrome

Sunday, 30 September 2012 0 comments

Control-me syndrome is one of the most interesting syndrome in the human behaviour. Control-Me Syndrome describes a tendency that some people have to foster relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or “acting-out” nature. These individuals often feel more comfortable when they give the responsibility for making decisions to others. Some reasons for doing this include:

· They feel less successful than others,

· They feel less capable than others,

· Others project an air of confidence or authority,

· Others appear more successful than them,

· They are humiliated by past mistakes, or

· They fear the humiliation of making new mistakes.

Taking a passive “control-me” approach is a dangerous strategy for a number of reasons:

· Other people make mistakes.

· Certain people with personality disorders, including narcissists, controllers and other people who “act-out” are often attracted to “Control-Me” personalities.

· Adopting a passive approach to decision making often leads to a passive-aggressive attitude towards problem solving.

It is also important to realize that when you give control over decision making to another, you have not really given up control so much as you have chosen to delegate control to another. This means that you are somewhat responsible for the outcome.

Examples of “Control Me” Syndrome

· A woman tends to get into relationships with men who will tell her what to do.

· A man will not leave an abusive relationship unless someone he regards as an authority figure gives him permission to do it.

· A young woman is relieved to move out and escape from her abusive home, immediately gets involved with an abusive boyfriend.

People who go through life with a “control me” strategy typically find themselves disappointed with the results as they stagger from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. They may find themselves repeatedly in abusive situations or trapped in relationships that do not serve their best interests. They often hook up with people who have a “Control-You” syndrome.

What it feels like:

If you are in a relationship with a person who has “control me” syndrome, you may be flattered by their apparent trust in you. You may, however, end up feeling frustrated by the burden of additional responsibility. Disappointments will inevitably come and mistakes will inevitably be made. When they do, you may feel like you are being blamed for something that should have been somebody else’s responsibility.

If you have the symptoms of “control me” syndrome, you may enjoy the short cut of putting the responsibility onto another, but you may also become frustrated when they inevitably let you down.
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