The best technique to change your
Habit.
Have
you unable to change your bad habits it very simple with this golden rule of
habit change. In the last decade, our understanding of the neurology of habit
formation has been transformed.
A
quiet revolution has upended our concept of the way patterns work within our
lives, societies, and organizations. And much of what we have learned has come
from studying the simplest of habits — such as why people bite their nails.
In
the summer of 2006, for instance, a 24-year-old graduate student named Mandy
walked into the counseling center at Mississippi State University. For most of
her life, Mandy had bitten her nails, gnawing them until they bled.
Lots
of people bite their nails. For chronic nail biters, however, it’s a problem of
a different scale.
Mandy
would often bite until her nails pulled away from the skin underneath. Her
fingertips were covered with tiny scabs. The end of her fingers had become
blunted without nails to protect them and sometimes they tingled or itched, a
sign of nerve injury.
The
biting habit had damaged her social life. She was so embarrassed around her
friends that she kept her hands in her pockets and, on dates, would become
preoccupied with balling her fingers into fists. She had tried to stop by
painting her nails with foul-tasting polishes or promising herself, starting
right now, that she would muster the willpower to quit. But as soon as she
began doing homework or watching television, her fingers ended up in her mouth.
The
counseling center referred Mandy to a doctoral psychology student who was
studying a treatment known as “habit reversal training.” The psychologist was
well acquainted with what has become known as the “Golden Rule of Habit
Change.” Every habit has three components: a cue (or a trigger
for an automatic behavior to start), a routine (the behavior
itself) and a reward (which is how our brain learns to
remember this pattern for the future.)
The
Golden Rule of Habit Change says that the most effective way to shift a habit
is to diagnose and retain the old cue and reward, and try to change only the
routine.
The
psychologist knew that changing Mandy’s nail biting habit required inserting a
new routine into her life. “What do you feel right before you bring your hand
up to your mouth to bite your nails?” he asked her.
“There’s
a little bit of tension in my fingers,” Mandy said. “It hurts a little bit
here, at the edge of the nail. Sometimes I’ll run my thumb along, looking for
hangnails, and when I feel something catch, I’ll bring it up to my mouth then.
I’ll go finger by finger, biting all the rough edges. Once I start, it feels
like I have to do all of them.”
Asking
patients to describe what triggers their habitual behavior is called awareness
training, and it’s the first step in habit reversal training. The tension that
Mandy felt in her nails cued her nail biting habit.
“Most
people’s habits have occurred for so long they don’t pay attention to what
causes it anymore,” said Brad Dufrene, who treated Mandy. “I’ve had stutterers
come in, and I’ll ask them which words or situations trigger their stuttering,
and they won’t know because they stopped noticing so long ago.”
Next,
the therapist asked Mandy to describe why she bit her nails. At first, she had
trouble coming up with reasons. As they talked, though, it became clearer that
she bit when she was bored. The therapist put her in some typical situations,
such as watching television and doing homework, and she started nibbling. When
she had worked through all of the nails, she felt a brief sense of
completeness, she said. That was the habit’s reward: a physical stimulation she
had come to crave.
At
the end of their first session, the therapist sent Mandy home with an
assignment: Carry around an index card, and each time you feel the cue — a
tension in your fingertips — make a checkmark on the card.
She
came back a week later with 28 checks. She was, by that point, acutely aware of
the sensations that preceded her habit. She knew how many times it occurred
during class or while watching television.
Then
the therapist taught Mandy what is known as a “competing response.” Whenever
she felt that tension in her fingertips, he told her, she should immediately
put her hands in her pockets or under her legs, or grip a pencil or something
else that made it impossible to put her fingers in her mouth. Then Mandy was to
search for something that would provide a quick physical stimulation — such as
rubbing her arm or rapping her knuckles on a desk — anything that would produce
a physical response. It was the Golden Rule: The cues and rewards stayed the
same. Only the routine changed.
They
practiced in the therapist’s office for about half and hour and Mandy was sent
home with a new assignment: Continue with the index card, but make a check when
you feel the tension in your fingertips and a hash mark when you successfully
override the habit.
A
week later, Mandy had bitten her nails only three times and had used the
competing response seven times. She rewarded herself with a manicure, but kept
using the note cards.
After
a month, the nail biting habit was gone. The competing routines had become
automatic. One habit had replaced another.
“It
seems ridiculously simple, but once you’re aware of how your habit works, once
you recognize the cues and rewards, you’re halfway to changing it,” Nathan
Azrin, one of the developers of habit reversal training, told me. “It seems
like it should be more complex. The truth is, the brain can be reprogrammed.
You just have to be deliberate about it.”
Today,
habit reversal therapy is used to treat verbal and
physical tics, depression, smoking, gambling problems, anxiety,
bedwetting, procrastination, obsessive- compulsive disorders, and other
behavioral problems. And its techniques lay bare one of the fundamental
principles of habits: Often, we don’t really understand the cravings driving
our behaviors until we look for them. Mandy never realized that a craving for
physical stimulation was causing her nail biting, but once she dissected the
habit, it became easy to find a new routine that provided the same reward.
Say
you want to stop snacking at work. Is the reward you’re seeking to satisfy your
hunger? Or is it to interrupt boredom? If you snack for a brief release, you
can easily find another routine, such as taking a quick walk, or giving
yourself three minutes on the Internet, that provides the same interruption
without adding to your waistline.
If
you want to stop smoking, ask yourself: Do you do it because you love nicotine,
or because it provides a burst of stimulation, a structure to your day, or a
way to socialize? If you smoke because you need stimulation, studies indicate
that some caffeine in the afternoon can increase the odds you’ll quit. More
than three dozen studies of former smokers have found that identifying the cues
and rewards they associate with cigarettes, and then choosing new routines that
provide similar payoffs— a piece of Nicorette, a quick series of pushups, or
simply taking a few minutes to stretch and relax — makes it more likely they
will quit.
If
you identify the cues and rewards, you can change the routine.
Try
this only on your bad habits not on your good habits...
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